#10-Tony & Crystal sing Disturbed
#9-Ready, Set.....GO!
#8-Mommy and CJ Swinging
#7-Buckethead!
#6-Matt sings The Bloudhound Gang
#5-CJ the Climber
#4-CJ Plays Piano at Church
#3-Baking with a hammer
#2 The AAA Song
#1-Baby Rock Band
Monday, December 27, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
2010 Year End Special Entry #2-Relationship Redemption
Every relationship has it's ups and downs but when you hit rock bottom, there's two ways to go. Say good bye and move on or fight till you get what you want. December 2009 me and Mandy hit rock bottom, this video is about the journey of the year, that led to me and Mandy's marraige being saved and becoming stronger than ever. Enjoy this story.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
A long, winding, fun five years...
This past Sunday, the 12th, I hit my five year mark at this place, in honor I figured I'd make a entry of photos of the friends I'vemade along the way, the fun times and a top five weirdest pictures I've personally taken in the past five years here. Enjoy.
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| 2007 |
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| 2010 |
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| Omar, Randy, Mike and Me in 2007, Bagroom |
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| Me and Katie on her last day, 2008 |
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Me and Christy on her last day, 2010 |
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Me and Mike Phelps on his last day, 2010 |
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| #5 |
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| #4 |
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| #3 |
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| #2 |
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| #1 |
Honorable Mentions
Monday, December 13, 2010
2010 Year End Special Entry #1-2011 Goals
As the year comes to an end, I want to announce what my goals are for the next year. Then in December next year I will refer to this list and see if I was able to accomplish everything I put down.
- Keep a phone for the whole year.
- Reunite or keep better touch with at least five old friends
- Travel to at least two states
- Make five new videos
- Finally finish my portfolio
- Be better with money
- Fully organize our and CJ's rooms
- Find more ways to help with my memory issues
- Take better care of my health
- Cause less problems with people that I can control
Year End Plans
It's the holiday season that means year end blogs. I have alot of plans for blogs and whatnot in this blog and my pop culture blog. So that being said over the next few weeks there will various entries representing my feelings on 2010 and my thoughts on 2011. I hope everyone enjoys.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Christmas Spirit?
It's weird, I've never had this problem before. Normally I'm cheerful, happy and ready for the holidays. I'm blasting Christmas music all the time and just jolly, for lack for a better term.
But this year, I'm not feeling it. I don't know why. I'm not in the mood for Christmas at all. I mean I don't have the want to even finish my shopping, we still haven't decorated or anything. It's hard.
CJ is excited about Santa, and we are watching whatever specials are on the air. I even brought down my Mickey's Christmas Carol VHS to pop in. Still haven't.
Things just don't seem right. I'm not sure why.
Maybe it's real life finally sinking in. I don't have as much free time as I used to to work on a big project for Mandy that I have visualized. I don't have the energy to even do more. I want more time. I want to have the time to do stuff that I usually do.
I don't know. I have to adjust I guess. I need to get it into gear and fast. It's December 9th. Already. 16 days till Christmas. So much going on. So much to do.
Maybe someone can help me. Someone. Anyone. I need the boost. The Christmas magic. That passion I've had for years. The man in this picture. Life is so great, why can't I feel the spirit this year?
But this year, I'm not feeling it. I don't know why. I'm not in the mood for Christmas at all. I mean I don't have the want to even finish my shopping, we still haven't decorated or anything. It's hard.
CJ is excited about Santa, and we are watching whatever specials are on the air. I even brought down my Mickey's Christmas Carol VHS to pop in. Still haven't.
Things just don't seem right. I'm not sure why.
Maybe it's real life finally sinking in. I don't have as much free time as I used to to work on a big project for Mandy that I have visualized. I don't have the energy to even do more. I want more time. I want to have the time to do stuff that I usually do.
I don't know. I have to adjust I guess. I need to get it into gear and fast. It's December 9th. Already. 16 days till Christmas. So much going on. So much to do.
Maybe someone can help me. Someone. Anyone. I need the boost. The Christmas magic. That passion I've had for years. The man in this picture. Life is so great, why can't I feel the spirit this year?Sunday, December 5, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Picture of the Week (11/14-11/20)
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| Monday November 15, 2010 "I'm on a horse....oh wait that's Mommy!" |
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Yo Amo A Mi Familia (aka Lesson Learned)
It's funny for years during the Crew era, I got used to being written off for no good reason. Many a people, down to my closest friends, had gotten into fights with me and we said goodbye.
Over the years, some have come back. Most haven't.
Now here I sit, it's right before the holidays in 2010. I just got back from another Jersey trip. Now where do I stand?
I'm not going to get into the details of the fight and blowups with my sister over the last two days. For those who have been following it know what happened and what was said. Not worth it to be honest.
But honestly, I can say that I very shocked this morning when I saw that Sabrina unfriend me and Mandy on facebook. I swear a few years ago, that would mean nothing. It just shows what this generation is about. Nowadays that like a massive fuck-you bitchslap, especially from a family member. After everything that went down, she pretty much disowned me as her brother.
Gary said it perfectly to me, he's surprised I'm not reacting more. I've been told to scream and yell and snap on her and even Anthony by people. See what some people don't realize about me is that I'm very low key. I don't like to curse people out, I don't like to get into screaming fits. I don't like to snap. Even when times call for it.
So instead of sitting here and ranting and raving like people are expecting I want to address something else.
Thank you to my friends. Thank you to people who over the last couple of days have stood by me and Mandy when we needed them. Gracias a nuestra familia.
This weekend has proved alot to me. I now know without a shadow of a doubt who I can count on. I know who will stand by us in times of trouble and hardship. I now know who I need in my life.
Lesson Learned.
Over the years, some have come back. Most haven't.
Now here I sit, it's right before the holidays in 2010. I just got back from another Jersey trip. Now where do I stand?
I'm not going to get into the details of the fight and blowups with my sister over the last two days. For those who have been following it know what happened and what was said. Not worth it to be honest.
But honestly, I can say that I very shocked this morning when I saw that Sabrina unfriend me and Mandy on facebook. I swear a few years ago, that would mean nothing. It just shows what this generation is about. Nowadays that like a massive fuck-you bitchslap, especially from a family member. After everything that went down, she pretty much disowned me as her brother.
Gary said it perfectly to me, he's surprised I'm not reacting more. I've been told to scream and yell and snap on her and even Anthony by people. See what some people don't realize about me is that I'm very low key. I don't like to curse people out, I don't like to get into screaming fits. I don't like to snap. Even when times call for it.
So instead of sitting here and ranting and raving like people are expecting I want to address something else.
Thank you to my friends. Thank you to people who over the last couple of days have stood by me and Mandy when we needed them. Gracias a nuestra familia.
This weekend has proved alot to me. I now know without a shadow of a doubt who I can count on. I know who will stand by us in times of trouble and hardship. I now know who I need in my life.
Lesson Learned.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Who Says You Can't Go Home...
Every year I make at least one maybe two trips out to Jersey, for family or a game, and every time that song by Bon Jovi and Jennifer Nettles comes to mind.
Tomorrow morning me, Mandy and CJ are jumping on a plane and coming out there for the weekend. It's weird, because for the first time I'm not stressed about the trip. No one is annoying. Nothing is bothering me. I just want to go, have fun and then come back without any craziness.
This weekend will be about family and friends. Reunions and drinking. A crappy hockey team and just overall craziness.
I plan on coming back a little bit less stressed out. I plan on coming back relaxed. While we do have alot to do, I'm taking this a weekend family vacation getaway.
The fact is this, I actually can't wait for the first time in a long time.
If you haven't already, get in touch with me, we'll get together.
Here's to a good weekend. I'm hoping for the best.
Tomorrow morning me, Mandy and CJ are jumping on a plane and coming out there for the weekend. It's weird, because for the first time I'm not stressed about the trip. No one is annoying. Nothing is bothering me. I just want to go, have fun and then come back without any craziness.
This weekend will be about family and friends. Reunions and drinking. A crappy hockey team and just overall craziness.
I plan on coming back a little bit less stressed out. I plan on coming back relaxed. While we do have alot to do, I'm taking this a weekend family vacation getaway.
The fact is this, I actually can't wait for the first time in a long time.
If you haven't already, get in touch with me, we'll get together.
Here's to a good weekend. I'm hoping for the best.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
RIP
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| "I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end. I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend but I always thought that I'd see you again."-James Taylor Rest in Peace Aunt Dee |
Picture of the Week (10/17-10/23)
Friday October 22, 2010
She also won for Pumpkin of the Week as well!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Communication Issues
Over the last few months, I've heard alot of people who are friends of mine tell me that I'm not online anymore and it's hard to keep in touch with me. Well, to those people, and to everyone else who is wondering, it really shouldn't be that hard anymore.
Since I now have a Blackberry, I've officially made it impossible for anyone who WANTS to get in touch with me to get and stay in touch.
First of all, my facebook and twitter are setup on my phone so I can and do get updates from there all the time.
If you want to talk to me, and don't wanna text me. There are three ways to do that as well.
Blackberry Messenger: 247BE1B6
Google Talk/GMail Messenger: Reilly21106
AIM (yes I even went there): Reilly21106
If you have any of those and want to add me, feel free. I would love to hear from you.
I think that covers it, I'm just sick of hearing that I'm too busy to keep in touch with people, when obviously if you WANT to get a hold of me, you have alot of ways to do so.
Since I now have a Blackberry, I've officially made it impossible for anyone who WANTS to get in touch with me to get and stay in touch.
First of all, my facebook and twitter are setup on my phone so I can and do get updates from there all the time.
If you want to talk to me, and don't wanna text me. There are three ways to do that as well.
Blackberry Messenger: 247BE1B6
Google Talk/GMail Messenger: Reilly21106
AIM (yes I even went there): Reilly21106
If you have any of those and want to add me, feel free. I would love to hear from you.
I think that covers it, I'm just sick of hearing that I'm too busy to keep in touch with people, when obviously if you WANT to get a hold of me, you have alot of ways to do so.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
The Hard Part is Being Honest
It seems people besides Mandy actually read this thing. Good to know. So let me get a few things off my chest.
Last night I posted lyrics to Limp Bizkit's song Break Stuff, it just fit how I was feeling about certain people in the moment. I appreciate some really awesome friends actually being concerned. Now let me get my point I was hinting to last night.
It seems people don't seem to understand me, my family or even my way of life. People seem to think me and Mandy have it easy. People seem to think that we have alot of money to just throw around. People think it's simple for us to just get up make plans on the fly. Well to those people who think that, you couldn't be MORE WRONG.
First of all just because we live with Mandy's parents doesn't mean we are freeloaders. I've recently heard that we have it really good because "we live at home". Yes, we have a roof over our heads. But we pay rent. We pay for groceries and have alot of stuff to do around the house to keep the house in order. It's a major group effort every day to keep things in order. It's not just her parents doing and paying for everything and we are living scott-free, that couldn't be further from the truth.
That brings me to a major thing, money. For all you dumbasses that think we have money to throw around because "we live at home" you are mistaken. We have major bills. Daycare, cars, car insurance and student loans are just the tip of the iceberg. Much like EVERYONE else we are struggling at times to stay afloat. Daycare fees right now are higher than some places charge for rent, and if you think I'm bullshitting you, you obviously never looked up prices. Me and Mandy have finally gotten a budget together because we NEED to get ourselves organized and setup.
Also I want to address this theory that we could do whatever we want because we have "built-in babysitters". That is so not how it works at all. If you know how we plan things, 90% of the time we go out AFTER CJ is in bed so that all her parents really have to do is man the monitor. The other times, when we make plans that aren't CJ-friendly, they are planned way in advance, setup with her parents, make sure they don't have plans first. I've already had to change plans that were made because her parents weren't going to be home to watch CJ. I can speak for Mandy on this one when I say we don't like to "take advantage" of her parents to watch CJ. He's our son, our responibilty. I'm always asked why I plan things so late at night, the main reason is CJ. If you don't like it, you don't have to hang out with us, simple as that.
Finally, I have one thing I need to get off my chest and make VERY clear. Over the last year I've made it very very clear that I am willing to write you out of my life if you piss me off enough. I'm sick of being made fun of, being teased, being made to look stupid or feel dumb. I will admit I'm not the smartest person in the world when it come to being book smart, but I make up for it in street smarts, common sense and just being a postive nice guy. I'm so sick of being put down by friends just because I'm on a different page at times.
The facts are I don't really keep up with current events and newstories, never have. I don't watch the news or even read the paper. Alot of times I always joke if it's not on Disney Channel, I don't know about it, which true. When CJ is up, I spend most of my day watching Playhouse Disney and other cartoons, who cares? He's 2, and it's appropriate for him. So what if I pretty know every song from Phineas and Ferb and the Imagination Movers? It's what is on during the day at the house. It's how it works. I do watch "adult programming" as Mandy puts it but mostly I rather just make CJ happy and leave his shows on.
Also I'm 28, I might be young but I'm not dumbfounded and blind. I've learned from my past. My ears are always open and my eyes are better than most. I am great at reading people's emotions and facial expressions. People trust me and talk to me all the time. That being said, if something is said about me, it always get back to me. I always know who said it and how it was meant. I might act like a goofball, but in all seriousness I'm mature person that likes to goof off. I've grown up more than people realize because I don't like acting serious most of the time till I HAVE TO. I hope people realize that. I'm very good at hiding my feelings but never ever forget anything. I like to stay under the radar for that reason but at the same time I hope people don't underestimate me. I'm smarter than I act and wiser than I come across.
I think I'm done and feel much better. I need to take a breath, and maybe now I can sleep better. Between all this and CJ being sick I haven't been able to sleep well over the last week or so.
Last night I posted lyrics to Limp Bizkit's song Break Stuff, it just fit how I was feeling about certain people in the moment. I appreciate some really awesome friends actually being concerned. Now let me get my point I was hinting to last night.
It seems people don't seem to understand me, my family or even my way of life. People seem to think me and Mandy have it easy. People seem to think that we have alot of money to just throw around. People think it's simple for us to just get up make plans on the fly. Well to those people who think that, you couldn't be MORE WRONG.
First of all just because we live with Mandy's parents doesn't mean we are freeloaders. I've recently heard that we have it really good because "we live at home". Yes, we have a roof over our heads. But we pay rent. We pay for groceries and have alot of stuff to do around the house to keep the house in order. It's a major group effort every day to keep things in order. It's not just her parents doing and paying for everything and we are living scott-free, that couldn't be further from the truth.
That brings me to a major thing, money. For all you dumbasses that think we have money to throw around because "we live at home" you are mistaken. We have major bills. Daycare, cars, car insurance and student loans are just the tip of the iceberg. Much like EVERYONE else we are struggling at times to stay afloat. Daycare fees right now are higher than some places charge for rent, and if you think I'm bullshitting you, you obviously never looked up prices. Me and Mandy have finally gotten a budget together because we NEED to get ourselves organized and setup.
Also I want to address this theory that we could do whatever we want because we have "built-in babysitters". That is so not how it works at all. If you know how we plan things, 90% of the time we go out AFTER CJ is in bed so that all her parents really have to do is man the monitor. The other times, when we make plans that aren't CJ-friendly, they are planned way in advance, setup with her parents, make sure they don't have plans first. I've already had to change plans that were made because her parents weren't going to be home to watch CJ. I can speak for Mandy on this one when I say we don't like to "take advantage" of her parents to watch CJ. He's our son, our responibilty. I'm always asked why I plan things so late at night, the main reason is CJ. If you don't like it, you don't have to hang out with us, simple as that.
Finally, I have one thing I need to get off my chest and make VERY clear. Over the last year I've made it very very clear that I am willing to write you out of my life if you piss me off enough. I'm sick of being made fun of, being teased, being made to look stupid or feel dumb. I will admit I'm not the smartest person in the world when it come to being book smart, but I make up for it in street smarts, common sense and just being a postive nice guy. I'm so sick of being put down by friends just because I'm on a different page at times.
The facts are I don't really keep up with current events and newstories, never have. I don't watch the news or even read the paper. Alot of times I always joke if it's not on Disney Channel, I don't know about it, which true. When CJ is up, I spend most of my day watching Playhouse Disney and other cartoons, who cares? He's 2, and it's appropriate for him. So what if I pretty know every song from Phineas and Ferb and the Imagination Movers? It's what is on during the day at the house. It's how it works. I do watch "adult programming" as Mandy puts it but mostly I rather just make CJ happy and leave his shows on.
Also I'm 28, I might be young but I'm not dumbfounded and blind. I've learned from my past. My ears are always open and my eyes are better than most. I am great at reading people's emotions and facial expressions. People trust me and talk to me all the time. That being said, if something is said about me, it always get back to me. I always know who said it and how it was meant. I might act like a goofball, but in all seriousness I'm mature person that likes to goof off. I've grown up more than people realize because I don't like acting serious most of the time till I HAVE TO. I hope people realize that. I'm very good at hiding my feelings but never ever forget anything. I like to stay under the radar for that reason but at the same time I hope people don't underestimate me. I'm smarter than I act and wiser than I come across.
I think I'm done and feel much better. I need to take a breath, and maybe now I can sleep better. Between all this and CJ being sick I haven't been able to sleep well over the last week or so.
Monday, October 4, 2010
A dedication to just about everyone right now...
Its all about the he says she says bullshit
I think you better quit
Lettin' shit slip
Or you'll be leavin with a fat lip
Its all about the he says she says bullshit
I think you better quit talkin that shit
(Punk, so come and get it)
Its just one of those days
Feelin' like a freight train
First one to complain
Leaves with a blood stain
Damn right I'm a maniac
You better watch your back
Cuz I'm fuckin' up your program
And if your stuck up
You just lucked up
Next in line to get fucked up
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
Its just one of those days!!
I think you better quit
Lettin' shit slip
Or you'll be leavin with a fat lip
Its all about the he says she says bullshit
I think you better quit talkin that shit
(Punk, so come and get it)
Its just one of those days
Feelin' like a freight train
First one to complain
Leaves with a blood stain
Damn right I'm a maniac
You better watch your back
Cuz I'm fuckin' up your program
And if your stuck up
You just lucked up
Next in line to get fucked up
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
Its just one of those days!!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
My mind is racing today
"Money, money, money. Must be funny in the rich man's world. Money, money, money. Always sunny in the rich man's world. Aha-ahaaa! All the things I could do if I had a little money. It's a rich man's world."
Yes the world is coming to an end, I quote ABBA/Mamma Mia in my blog. It just seemed to fit my mood right now.
Me and Mandy had a long talk last night and today about money situations. With CJ's school tuition higher now and the fact that my brakes seem to be going, things are even tighter than ever. I don't know what happened. We used to be so stingy with money.
Last night we had a long talk about how we could figure out money better.
But money isn't the only thing I'm worried about.
Over that summer I was super gung-ho about getting organized and cleaning. I don't know where I went wrong but now despite my best efforts things are actually more messed up than they were back in May. Now I need to find a more organized system. Maybe stop being such a pack-rat. Use all the space we have. Keep things WHERE they belong. I'm not sure what to do or how to do things where it's not insanely complicated but at the same time I'm so sick of clutter and messiness. I know I'm better than that big time. I'm so aggravated in myself. I need to get back on the ball.
Yes the world is coming to an end, I quote ABBA/Mamma Mia in my blog. It just seemed to fit my mood right now.
Me and Mandy had a long talk last night and today about money situations. With CJ's school tuition higher now and the fact that my brakes seem to be going, things are even tighter than ever. I don't know what happened. We used to be so stingy with money.
Last night we had a long talk about how we could figure out money better.
But money isn't the only thing I'm worried about.
Over that summer I was super gung-ho about getting organized and cleaning. I don't know where I went wrong but now despite my best efforts things are actually more messed up than they were back in May. Now I need to find a more organized system. Maybe stop being such a pack-rat. Use all the space we have. Keep things WHERE they belong. I'm not sure what to do or how to do things where it's not insanely complicated but at the same time I'm so sick of clutter and messiness. I know I'm better than that big time. I'm so aggravated in myself. I need to get back on the ball.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
A Little Trip Down Memory Lane
There's been alot of talk about reunions and the past lately, and it made me think about alot of stuff. But unlike in the past where I've thought about what ifs or what could I change or stuff like that, I just thought about the moments. So I found 10 pictures, completely random, that I always look like and laugh and think of a different time.
Don't take this like I want to go back to those times, because my life is amazing now, but it is nice to look back at some of the good moments, around all the drama. Sometimes I think people forget to do that.
Trying to figure it all out
Ever just sit and want to write a blog and just draw a blank. There's so much on your mind, but at the same time nothing at all.
That's where I am right now. I've started this entry three times over the last three days. I'm not sure what to say or what I want to say.
It's hard to say how I feel at times. It's hard to sit and talk about life at times.
It seems like everything is changing. CJ is returning to school next week, in what should be a MUCH better enviroment and experience for him. My work schedule is going to change in November, which screws up my workout schedule that I finally have set. Hopefully I figure that out, I'm finally losing weight again and it feels good.
Mandy and I are finally back at that strong point that I fucked up last year. We are completely in sync and back to where we should be. It's good to have my second half back. Things couldn't be better.
As for my friends, I hope people realize I'm not intentionally ignore you guys. It's weird, I lately have just wanted to be alone, not talk to alot of people. The people I have been talking to are the ones who I'm hanging out with. I try to talk to people all the time, but there are times as of late where I just want to sit and listen to music and zone out.
As for where my head is lately, I have no idea how to respond to that. My head hasn't been fully here lately, I don't know why. Maybe it's the fact that this upcoming month and a half are so busy and I'm trying to make sure everything me and Mandy have planned works out without a hitch. Maybe it's the fact that I feel like I'm at a crossroads at my life. I'm 28. I work for Frontier Airlines, married with a son. If you have told me any of that back in 2004, I would have thought you were insane. In a way, I realize that I'm turning 30 in two years. Those two years are going to fly by, especially at the pace the last couple have. I feel like I need to do something more. There's got to be something else. I need do accomplish one more big thing. Maybe I don't need to and I feel like I need to. Maybe I'm just looking for a sign that tells me one or another.
Is it good to be happy where you are in life when one time you thought you would have or need more?
That's where I am right now. I've started this entry three times over the last three days. I'm not sure what to say or what I want to say.
It's hard to say how I feel at times. It's hard to sit and talk about life at times.
It seems like everything is changing. CJ is returning to school next week, in what should be a MUCH better enviroment and experience for him. My work schedule is going to change in November, which screws up my workout schedule that I finally have set. Hopefully I figure that out, I'm finally losing weight again and it feels good.
Mandy and I are finally back at that strong point that I fucked up last year. We are completely in sync and back to where we should be. It's good to have my second half back. Things couldn't be better.
As for my friends, I hope people realize I'm not intentionally ignore you guys. It's weird, I lately have just wanted to be alone, not talk to alot of people. The people I have been talking to are the ones who I'm hanging out with. I try to talk to people all the time, but there are times as of late where I just want to sit and listen to music and zone out.
As for where my head is lately, I have no idea how to respond to that. My head hasn't been fully here lately, I don't know why. Maybe it's the fact that this upcoming month and a half are so busy and I'm trying to make sure everything me and Mandy have planned works out without a hitch. Maybe it's the fact that I feel like I'm at a crossroads at my life. I'm 28. I work for Frontier Airlines, married with a son. If you have told me any of that back in 2004, I would have thought you were insane. In a way, I realize that I'm turning 30 in two years. Those two years are going to fly by, especially at the pace the last couple have. I feel like I need to do something more. There's got to be something else. I need do accomplish one more big thing. Maybe I don't need to and I feel like I need to. Maybe I'm just looking for a sign that tells me one or another.
Is it good to be happy where you are in life when one time you thought you would have or need more?
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Hard TIme Sleeping
Normally by 11pm, on any night I would be asleep. Between having a two year old and a very busy schedule during the week, it's very rare I'm up very late unless I'm out and about with friends. Tonight though I'm up. Maybe it's the fact that I took my meds really late today and they are affecting me really late in the night. Maybe it was the pathetic display of a football game that Giants just played. Maybe it's the fact that I always have things on my mind.
It seems like that most of the the next couple of months is pretty busy. Making plans in advance with friends is a very good thing. But wow, between friends, ppvs, tickets to stuff, birthday parties, church stuff, a weekend trip and even I'll throw in football games every weekend till Thanksgiving is pretty booked already. That to me is unreal. I guess that's part of growing up eh? Plan in advance, work around schedules and just make sure you have enough time to see everyone and do everything you want to do. It's hard work.
The other day it was brought to me and asked to me, "Why are you always the one who plans things?". The truth is, I love being the organizer, the guy who sets up bowling nights or karaoke get-togethers or even getting together with some friends for dinner. Also unlike back in the Crew days when I really was the only one planning things and trying to figure out dates, it's not that way anymore. Here's an example of that:
In October, me and Mandy want to do something for Halloween like we did last year. Maybe a karaoke night like we did last year. So I did my research and found three different dates to work with. Then I looked the calendar to see if Matt and Andy are off work. Then I will get in touch with Katie, Matt, Claire, Crystal, Kirby and anyone else that I know would want to come out to see if the date I'm thinking of will work, after already talking to Mandy. Then when I finish figuring that out, I will then talk to Mom about the date, make sure that her and Dad don't already have something that night so they could man the monitors after CJ is in bed. Only then will I send out an invitation on fb with all the info for everyone to see. My name might be on the invite but I'm not the only one planning this. Plus with this one, I want to get the date set sooner than later because it is Halloween themed and it will give people time to get costumes together. It's not as easy as it used to be.
I think some people think it's easy to just do things. While it's awesome to have "built-in babysitters" as some people call them, it's not fair to Mandy's parents to ask them to watch CJ every week. It's not being good parents. Plus there are times that me and Mandy want to have a weekend like this weekend where we just spend time together as a family.
For some reason this stuff has bothered me lately and I'm not even sure why.
Also maybe I'm changing, because things are starting to get to me more often. I'm sick of being made fun of, in a serious matter, I'm sick of having my family and friends get made fun of, in a serious matter. Maybe it's the fact that I finally have some self confidence, and I look at myself a little higher than I used to. Maybe it's because I expect better for people I care about. Maybe it's fact that as I get older, that more I just want to get away from stupid bull shit. I've been saying it for years but I think I'm finally taking it very serious. I rather be a loner with not alot of friends, than deal with stupid shit.
I'm 28 years old. I'm going to be married for five years in February. I have a two year old little boy. My responsibilities are so much different than I ever thought they would be. My mindset it completely different than it's ever been before. I actually give a shit about myself. I don't put anyone or anything else about my family. I am a typical family man, and I'm okay with that.
I have very few friends that understand where I'm coming from. Being a parent changes you. Being a good spouse changes you. It's about them. It's about the three of you. (Or however many people you have in your family.) It's not about going out and drinking. It's not about going out with work people to do stuff. It's not about how many hours you work to get by on bills. When you get to this level, it changes everything. When you are happy at this level, it's like you can't turn back.
I know it seems like I'm being all like a "know-it-all", I'm not. I don't know everything. It's like the Montgomery Gentry song "Lord, I’m learning so much more than back when I knew it all." But when I look at my friends, in crazy relationships, dealing with divorce or just not sure what to do with their lives, I realize I have it so good.
I'm done alot of growing up in this past year. Most of my friends don't even know how much. As life seems like it get harder and crazier, that's when I've realized I've gotten stronger. I've had to. Because I can't let life leave me behind.
It seems like that most of the the next couple of months is pretty busy. Making plans in advance with friends is a very good thing. But wow, between friends, ppvs, tickets to stuff, birthday parties, church stuff, a weekend trip and even I'll throw in football games every weekend till Thanksgiving is pretty booked already. That to me is unreal. I guess that's part of growing up eh? Plan in advance, work around schedules and just make sure you have enough time to see everyone and do everything you want to do. It's hard work.
The other day it was brought to me and asked to me, "Why are you always the one who plans things?". The truth is, I love being the organizer, the guy who sets up bowling nights or karaoke get-togethers or even getting together with some friends for dinner. Also unlike back in the Crew days when I really was the only one planning things and trying to figure out dates, it's not that way anymore. Here's an example of that:
In October, me and Mandy want to do something for Halloween like we did last year. Maybe a karaoke night like we did last year. So I did my research and found three different dates to work with. Then I looked the calendar to see if Matt and Andy are off work. Then I will get in touch with Katie, Matt, Claire, Crystal, Kirby and anyone else that I know would want to come out to see if the date I'm thinking of will work, after already talking to Mandy. Then when I finish figuring that out, I will then talk to Mom about the date, make sure that her and Dad don't already have something that night so they could man the monitors after CJ is in bed. Only then will I send out an invitation on fb with all the info for everyone to see. My name might be on the invite but I'm not the only one planning this. Plus with this one, I want to get the date set sooner than later because it is Halloween themed and it will give people time to get costumes together. It's not as easy as it used to be.
I think some people think it's easy to just do things. While it's awesome to have "built-in babysitters" as some people call them, it's not fair to Mandy's parents to ask them to watch CJ every week. It's not being good parents. Plus there are times that me and Mandy want to have a weekend like this weekend where we just spend time together as a family.
For some reason this stuff has bothered me lately and I'm not even sure why.
Also maybe I'm changing, because things are starting to get to me more often. I'm sick of being made fun of, in a serious matter, I'm sick of having my family and friends get made fun of, in a serious matter. Maybe it's the fact that I finally have some self confidence, and I look at myself a little higher than I used to. Maybe it's because I expect better for people I care about. Maybe it's fact that as I get older, that more I just want to get away from stupid bull shit. I've been saying it for years but I think I'm finally taking it very serious. I rather be a loner with not alot of friends, than deal with stupid shit.
I'm 28 years old. I'm going to be married for five years in February. I have a two year old little boy. My responsibilities are so much different than I ever thought they would be. My mindset it completely different than it's ever been before. I actually give a shit about myself. I don't put anyone or anything else about my family. I am a typical family man, and I'm okay with that.
I have very few friends that understand where I'm coming from. Being a parent changes you. Being a good spouse changes you. It's about them. It's about the three of you. (Or however many people you have in your family.) It's not about going out and drinking. It's not about going out with work people to do stuff. It's not about how many hours you work to get by on bills. When you get to this level, it changes everything. When you are happy at this level, it's like you can't turn back.
I know it seems like I'm being all like a "know-it-all", I'm not. I don't know everything. It's like the Montgomery Gentry song "Lord, I’m learning so much more than back when I knew it all." But when I look at my friends, in crazy relationships, dealing with divorce or just not sure what to do with their lives, I realize I have it so good.
I'm done alot of growing up in this past year. Most of my friends don't even know how much. As life seems like it get harder and crazier, that's when I've realized I've gotten stronger. I've had to. Because I can't let life leave me behind.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Song of the Day:For My Babydoll
Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Do You Remember 9/11?
There are very few full days that stick in your memory bank for a lifetime. Whether it be good or bad, moments get infused in your brain and they will never be removed until the day you die. For me those days are really easy. My wedding day, the day CJ was born, the day/night/overnight of Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Championship in 2000 and 9/11. Very weird list? Eh? We all have them and they all seem to end with some tragedy, for my generation it is today, September 11, 2001.
It's weird because I can remember that morning like it was yesterday. I got up a little late because I was up watching the Giants/Cowboys game on Monday Night Football the night before. I was getting ready for class and I was listening to Z100. I never watched TV in the morning, I listened to music and Z-Morning Zoo, back when the show was actually good. I remember that they came back in a frenzy and then went right into another song, I didn't think much about it because things happen in live radio. I finished getting ready and I was on the computer checking a few things and all of a sudden it was like wind taken from the sail. Reality struck harder than anything I had ever felt in my life. The Zoo cut to the Ch. 7 news because Tower 1 was on fire, so I tuned in obviously for the main curious reason to see what the hell was going on. Right when I tuned in I saw the plane crash into Tower 2 and it felt like I had no weight or strength in my legs and my body gave out and I blobbed on the bed in shock. At that moment, James was outside in the backyard because he was getting something for my dad and I frantically called him over to the window and just pointed to the screen and his jaw almost hit the ground.
I spent the rest of that day calling my friends, drove to school, drove to my sisters, finally came home and just sat and watched. I went back to my sisters and saw the smoke from the top of the hardware store. It was surreal. It was like living a disaster movie, except it was totally real.
I remember making a frantic phone call to Nadine because she had told me that she was thinking about going into the city that morning, just because. Luckily she was still asleep when I called her, but yeah I was extremely worried.
When nightfall came, I was still on the phone like crazy. Finally I got into my room to try to relax and Joanna called me crying and terrified. Even though she lived down the street from a police station, every sound was freaking her out and she didn't know what was next, if anything. I told her to relax, just pop in a CD of music, and fall asleep. Everything was going to be okay. I turned on the radio and the only station that had cut back to regular music was K-Rock and I knew I couldn't fall asleep to rock music, so I popped in my Disney Country CD, which I find funny now because I wasn't even a country fan yet, and finally fell asleep to that.
That whole day was a life changer, as I know it was for everyone else. No one I talked to or hung out with was at all the same after that day. It was struck alot of us pretty hard, especially since WTC was actually the PATH drop off for most of us in high school when we went on trip to see musicals and other shows.
Now I look back and I'm not the same person I was back then. The world isn't the same as it was back then. There are a lot of younger people that don't know what the world was like on 9/10/01. Life was different, things were different, this country was different. That day united our country like never before, and while here in 2010, it's not as united as it was then, it will forever be a day that changed our life.
It's weird because I can remember that morning like it was yesterday. I got up a little late because I was up watching the Giants/Cowboys game on Monday Night Football the night before. I was getting ready for class and I was listening to Z100. I never watched TV in the morning, I listened to music and Z-Morning Zoo, back when the show was actually good. I remember that they came back in a frenzy and then went right into another song, I didn't think much about it because things happen in live radio. I finished getting ready and I was on the computer checking a few things and all of a sudden it was like wind taken from the sail. Reality struck harder than anything I had ever felt in my life. The Zoo cut to the Ch. 7 news because Tower 1 was on fire, so I tuned in obviously for the main curious reason to see what the hell was going on. Right when I tuned in I saw the plane crash into Tower 2 and it felt like I had no weight or strength in my legs and my body gave out and I blobbed on the bed in shock. At that moment, James was outside in the backyard because he was getting something for my dad and I frantically called him over to the window and just pointed to the screen and his jaw almost hit the ground.
I spent the rest of that day calling my friends, drove to school, drove to my sisters, finally came home and just sat and watched. I went back to my sisters and saw the smoke from the top of the hardware store. It was surreal. It was like living a disaster movie, except it was totally real.
I remember making a frantic phone call to Nadine because she had told me that she was thinking about going into the city that morning, just because. Luckily she was still asleep when I called her, but yeah I was extremely worried.
When nightfall came, I was still on the phone like crazy. Finally I got into my room to try to relax and Joanna called me crying and terrified. Even though she lived down the street from a police station, every sound was freaking her out and she didn't know what was next, if anything. I told her to relax, just pop in a CD of music, and fall asleep. Everything was going to be okay. I turned on the radio and the only station that had cut back to regular music was K-Rock and I knew I couldn't fall asleep to rock music, so I popped in my Disney Country CD, which I find funny now because I wasn't even a country fan yet, and finally fell asleep to that.
That whole day was a life changer, as I know it was for everyone else. No one I talked to or hung out with was at all the same after that day. It was struck alot of us pretty hard, especially since WTC was actually the PATH drop off for most of us in high school when we went on trip to see musicals and other shows.
Now I look back and I'm not the same person I was back then. The world isn't the same as it was back then. There are a lot of younger people that don't know what the world was like on 9/10/01. Life was different, things were different, this country was different. That day united our country like never before, and while here in 2010, it's not as united as it was then, it will forever be a day that changed our life.
II still have this photo up in me and Mandy's bedroom as a tribute and a remembrance.
It's really rough to talk about that morning and the emotions that were going through my head and heart. This might actually be the first time in nine years I've talked about it and didn't get teary-eyed and over emotional while doing it.
That day changed me, changed all of us, changed our country. All I ask is to remember it because at the time it seemed impossible that would ever happen, we were invincible, no one would ever think about attack us, especially not the heart of Manhattan and the nation's capital. Alot of people died that day, families still suffer to this day. Keep them in your prayers and hearts today, I know I am.
Friday, September 10, 2010
I can't have nice things
I am so done!
I know I'm going to get alot of hell for this, so people just shove it! I don't wanna hear about it!
As people know I've had alot of phone issues over the last few years. Being stolen, broken, blah blah blah. Well,I told myself when I got my blackberry that if something happened to it at all, I was done. I was meant not to have a nice phone.
Well I was working on Mom and Dad's grandparents' gifts a little while ago and my phone was on the TV stand. CJ got it and threw it before I could get to it and it landed screen done. Now the bottom the screen is fucked up and it's pretty much unusable. I mean it's still use able but barely. Without the bottom half of the screen I can't see anything or even send a text message. For that reason I am convinced I cannot have a nice phone. At all.
No matter what I do, no matter how well I take care phones, I always get fucked...hard!
I'm so sick of it!
Grrrr!
I know I'm going to get alot of hell for this, so people just shove it! I don't wanna hear about it!
As people know I've had alot of phone issues over the last few years. Being stolen, broken, blah blah blah. Well,I told myself when I got my blackberry that if something happened to it at all, I was done. I was meant not to have a nice phone.
Well I was working on Mom and Dad's grandparents' gifts a little while ago and my phone was on the TV stand. CJ got it and threw it before I could get to it and it landed screen done. Now the bottom the screen is fucked up and it's pretty much unusable. I mean it's still use able but barely. Without the bottom half of the screen I can't see anything or even send a text message. For that reason I am convinced I cannot have a nice phone. At all.
No matter what I do, no matter how well I take care phones, I always get fucked...hard!
I'm so sick of it!
Grrrr!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Song of the day for me
I think it's getting to the point
Where I can be myself again
I think it's getting to the point
Where we have almost made amends
I think it's the getting to the point
That is the hardest part.
And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
Ill point you home
You think I only think about you
When were both in the same room
You think Im only here to witness
The remains of love exhumed
You think were here to play
A game of who loves more than whom
And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
Ill point you home
You think it's only fair to do what's
Best for you and you alone
You think it's only fair to do the same
To me when you're not home
I think it's time to make this something that is
More than only fair
So if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
Ill point you home.
But Im warning you, don't ever do
Those crazy, messed up things that you do
If you ever do
I promise you I'll be the first to crucity you
Now it's time to prove that youve come back
Here to rebuild.
Where I can be myself again
I think it's getting to the point
Where we have almost made amends
I think it's the getting to the point
That is the hardest part.
And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
Ill point you home
You think I only think about you
When were both in the same room
You think Im only here to witness
The remains of love exhumed
You think were here to play
A game of who loves more than whom
And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
Ill point you home
You think it's only fair to do what's
Best for you and you alone
You think it's only fair to do the same
To me when you're not home
I think it's time to make this something that is
More than only fair
So if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
Ill point you home.
But Im warning you, don't ever do
Those crazy, messed up things that you do
If you ever do
I promise you I'll be the first to crucity you
Now it's time to prove that youve come back
Here to rebuild.
Monday, September 6, 2010
I'm ready to explode
For the last couple of weeks I've been very out of it and not sure. I thought maybe it was because Mandy has been going through alot of health issues lately and I just want to take care of her but I can't.
Then I just laid on the couch today thinking about things and I realize I feel like I'm in constant state of repetition. But also a sense of erry similarities. When I was out in Jersey I would deal with people all the time, I would just deal with shit from people without thinking twice. Backstabbing, taking shit, very immature stuff, especially for a bunch of people getting into our 20s. I look back and wonder why I dealt with it all, but I realized I was learning still and I was just in a place where I didn't know any better.
Now I'm in my late 20s, I've grown up. I'm married with a kid, I have very good friends. Why does this stupidity and immaturity always follow me no matter what? I like to stay to myself, I don't want alot of friends for a reason. Whether it be the fact that I want to live my life without drama, or the fact that I don't want to care about stupid shit anymore. I've got so much on my plate on a daily and weekly basis that very few people understand where I'm coming from. It's hard to be a good husband, father, employee, want to get back into shape and want to help out around the house as much as I can.
Why do I have to deal with people who are constantly being so hypocritical about their lives and then look at someone else like whatever they do is shit? I'm so sick of my life being twisted and turned. I'm so sick everything I do and say being picked apart. I'm living MY life like I want to live MY life, I'm so sick and tired of people, especially close friends, making a big fucking deal out of it.
I don't get it! Why do I have to put with it??!?! Why do I need this shit?!?! Why do I do this to myself all the time?!?!
I guarantee this will be read by the main person I'm talking about and then the next time I see him he'll ask me, "who were you talking about?" and he'll name a bunch of people and he'll never guess it's about him. Because it' so into his own world that at times he doesn't care about other people's. He wants to talk to you about everything but when you turn the conversation around and need to vent or just talk about what's on your own, you get this treatment like "who cares about your problems?" I'm so sick of it!!!!
I think I'm going to have to step back a bit. Close my shell a little bit again, I don't want to get stung again. People don't understand why I'm so protective with myself and my life, it's because I've been burned so much that I'm sick of it.
I'm done. I really am.
Then I just laid on the couch today thinking about things and I realize I feel like I'm in constant state of repetition. But also a sense of erry similarities. When I was out in Jersey I would deal with people all the time, I would just deal with shit from people without thinking twice. Backstabbing, taking shit, very immature stuff, especially for a bunch of people getting into our 20s. I look back and wonder why I dealt with it all, but I realized I was learning still and I was just in a place where I didn't know any better.
Now I'm in my late 20s, I've grown up. I'm married with a kid, I have very good friends. Why does this stupidity and immaturity always follow me no matter what? I like to stay to myself, I don't want alot of friends for a reason. Whether it be the fact that I want to live my life without drama, or the fact that I don't want to care about stupid shit anymore. I've got so much on my plate on a daily and weekly basis that very few people understand where I'm coming from. It's hard to be a good husband, father, employee, want to get back into shape and want to help out around the house as much as I can.
Why do I have to deal with people who are constantly being so hypocritical about their lives and then look at someone else like whatever they do is shit? I'm so sick of my life being twisted and turned. I'm so sick everything I do and say being picked apart. I'm living MY life like I want to live MY life, I'm so sick and tired of people, especially close friends, making a big fucking deal out of it.
I don't get it! Why do I have to put with it??!?! Why do I need this shit?!?! Why do I do this to myself all the time?!?!
I guarantee this will be read by the main person I'm talking about and then the next time I see him he'll ask me, "who were you talking about?" and he'll name a bunch of people and he'll never guess it's about him. Because it' so into his own world that at times he doesn't care about other people's. He wants to talk to you about everything but when you turn the conversation around and need to vent or just talk about what's on your own, you get this treatment like "who cares about your problems?" I'm so sick of it!!!!
I think I'm going to have to step back a bit. Close my shell a little bit again, I don't want to get stung again. People don't understand why I'm so protective with myself and my life, it's because I've been burned so much that I'm sick of it.
I'm done. I really am.
Top 10 Pictures of the Summer of 2010
#10
June 26, 2010
United Godparents
#9
June 27, 2010
Visiting Friend
#8
June 1, 2010
Bucketboy!
#7
June 13, 2010
Funtime Mommy
#6
June 6, 2010
Boy and his Puppy
#5
July 2, 2010
By the Man Peeing
#4
July 16, 2010
Happy Princesses
#3
August 22, 2010
The Sunday Night Karaoke Trio
#2
July 24, 2010
Murseman!
Video of the Summer
July 2, 2010
Go AAA!
#1
June 27, 2010
Poohbear & Poohbear
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