It seems people besides Mandy actually read this thing. Good to know. So let me get a few things off my chest.
Last night I posted lyrics to Limp Bizkit's song Break Stuff, it just fit how I was feeling about certain people in the moment. I appreciate some really awesome friends actually being concerned. Now let me get my point I was hinting to last night.
It seems people don't seem to understand me, my family or even my way of life. People seem to think me and Mandy have it easy. People seem to think that we have alot of money to just throw around. People think it's simple for us to just get up make plans on the fly. Well to those people who think that, you couldn't be MORE WRONG.
First of all just because we live with Mandy's parents doesn't mean we are freeloaders. I've recently heard that we have it really good because "we live at home". Yes, we have a roof over our heads. But we pay rent. We pay for groceries and have alot of stuff to do around the house to keep the house in order. It's a major group effort every day to keep things in order. It's not just her parents doing and paying for everything and we are living scott-free, that couldn't be further from the truth.
That brings me to a major thing, money. For all you dumbasses that think we have money to throw around because "we live at home" you are mistaken. We have major bills. Daycare, cars, car insurance and student loans are just the tip of the iceberg. Much like EVERYONE else we are struggling at times to stay afloat. Daycare fees right now are higher than some places charge for rent, and if you think I'm bullshitting you, you obviously never looked up prices. Me and Mandy have finally gotten a budget together because we NEED to get ourselves organized and setup.
Also I want to address this theory that we could do whatever we want because we have "built-in babysitters". That is so not how it works at all. If you know how we plan things, 90% of the time we go out AFTER CJ is in bed so that all her parents really have to do is man the monitor. The other times, when we make plans that aren't CJ-friendly, they are planned way in advance, setup with her parents, make sure they don't have plans first. I've already had to change plans that were made because her parents weren't going to be home to watch CJ. I can speak for Mandy on this one when I say we don't like to "take advantage" of her parents to watch CJ. He's our son, our responibilty. I'm always asked why I plan things so late at night, the main reason is CJ. If you don't like it, you don't have to hang out with us, simple as that.
Finally, I have one thing I need to get off my chest and make VERY clear. Over the last year I've made it very very clear that I am willing to write you out of my life if you piss me off enough. I'm sick of being made fun of, being teased, being made to look stupid or feel dumb. I will admit I'm not the smartest person in the world when it come to being book smart, but I make up for it in street smarts, common sense and just being a postive nice guy. I'm so sick of being put down by friends just because I'm on a different page at times.
The facts are I don't really keep up with current events and newstories, never have. I don't watch the news or even read the paper. Alot of times I always joke if it's not on Disney Channel, I don't know about it, which true. When CJ is up, I spend most of my day watching Playhouse Disney and other cartoons, who cares? He's 2, and it's appropriate for him. So what if I pretty know every song from Phineas and Ferb and the Imagination Movers? It's what is on during the day at the house. It's how it works. I do watch "adult programming" as Mandy puts it but mostly I rather just make CJ happy and leave his shows on.
Also I'm 28, I might be young but I'm not dumbfounded and blind. I've learned from my past. My ears are always open and my eyes are better than most. I am great at reading people's emotions and facial expressions. People trust me and talk to me all the time. That being said, if something is said about me, it always get back to me. I always know who said it and how it was meant. I might act like a goofball, but in all seriousness I'm mature person that likes to goof off. I've grown up more than people realize because I don't like acting serious most of the time till I HAVE TO. I hope people realize that. I'm very good at hiding my feelings but never ever forget anything. I like to stay under the radar for that reason but at the same time I hope people don't underestimate me. I'm smarter than I act and wiser than I come across.
I think I'm done and feel much better. I need to take a breath, and maybe now I can sleep better. Between all this and CJ being sick I haven't been able to sleep well over the last week or so.
No comments:
Post a Comment