Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Trying to figure it all out

Ever just sit and want to write a blog and just draw a blank. There's so much on your mind, but at the same time nothing at all.

That's where I am right now. I've started this entry three times over the last three days. I'm not sure what to say or what I want to say.

It's hard to say how I feel at times. It's hard to sit and talk about life at times.

It seems like everything is changing. CJ is returning to school next week, in what should be a MUCH better enviroment and experience for him. My work schedule is going to change in November, which screws up my workout schedule that I finally have set. Hopefully I figure that out, I'm finally losing weight again and it feels good.

Mandy and I are finally back at that strong point that I fucked up last year. We are completely in sync and back to where we should be. It's good to have my second half back. Things couldn't be better.

As for my friends, I hope people realize I'm not intentionally ignore you guys. It's weird, I lately have just wanted to be alone, not talk to alot of people. The people I have been talking to are the ones who I'm hanging out with. I try to talk to people all the time, but there are times as of late where I just want to sit and listen to music and zone out.

As for where my head is lately, I have no idea how to respond to that. My head hasn't been fully here lately, I don't know why. Maybe it's the fact that this upcoming month and a half are so busy and I'm trying to make sure everything me and Mandy have planned works out without a hitch. Maybe it's the fact that I feel like I'm at a crossroads at my life. I'm 28. I work for Frontier Airlines, married with a son. If you have told me any of that back in 2004, I would have thought you were insane. In a way, I realize that I'm turning 30 in two years. Those two years are going to fly by, especially at the pace the last couple have. I feel like I need to do something more. There's got to be something else. I need do accomplish one more big thing. Maybe I don't need to and I feel like I need to. Maybe I'm just looking for a sign that tells me one or another.

Is it good to be happy where you are in life when one time you thought you would have or need more?

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