Constantly Staying Busy *New Videos*

Over the last week I got back behind the editing booth for the first time in a while and actually churned out two new videos.

This video is to the song Til My Last Day by Justin Moore and is a dedication to my babydoll, Mandy. It's a fitting song and a cool montage if I say so myself, and I do.

This one is a video I put together as a tribute to the Jersey Shorelines. It's a nice trip down memory lane. The songs are Eric Church-Springsteen and The Drifters-Under The Boardwalk.

That's all I got today. It's been a long week. 

Jersey Strong (even from afar)

Since Tuesday morning I've been trying to figure out the words to express what has happened. I mean I'm not there. I haven't been there for over seven years now. But yet when I was sitting at the computer manning Twitter and news sites I felt like I was watching my home fall apart from a far.

No l didn't suffer power outages, flooding or property damage. I'm not dealing with hour plus lines at the gas stations or down phone signals. Yet it feels like a piece of my heart broke.

What can I possibly say? All the people I care about are okay. Between texts and social media, I know everyone is fine.

But something like this isn't supposed to hit home. I say the word home, because I still have alot of connections there. My past branches from there, I grew up in Jersey. I'm a Jersey boy, born and bred. I used to goto the shore every summer, and going into the city was always a big deal.

9/11 happened in my backyard practically and I remember hearing alot of people say this was our "Where Were You When" moment for our generation. Now this happened.

I'm not a big cryer. But in Wednesday when I saw the video of Seaside, I wasn't mentally prepared for it. I lost it, broke down and all I kept saying "This can't be. It's all gone. It's gone. I can't be gone." Years of memories were literally in the ocean. Then I kept watching video and listening to audio from the area, lower Manhattan is dark, Staten Island barely exists anymore. It felt like I was watching a nightmare, but it was real.

All this proved no matter how much I've grown up, I'm still the Jersey boy I was seven years ago, just grown up and wiser.

I want my friends and family to know I'm here, even if it's just a conversation via texting because your phone is still down.

I decided to pick up a couple of rebuild the shore shirts for charity, and I will proudly wear them around here. I'm not ashamed of where I come from and will continue to support those who need it.

I'm still proud to be homegrown Jersey. That will never change and this week proved that.

Oh Look It's September...

I must admit it's been a busy summer. One of the busiest in years. I spent the last two week trying to figure out a way to cover this summer here, but couldn't find a way without boring everyone who reads this. So instead I made this new video:

That being said, the summer is indeed officially over.

Things are going to finally calm down. That being said I have things to do, projects and cleaning to catch up on, especially since I do have two days to work on stuff every week. I also hope to catch up with some of my friends whom I haven't seen all summer for one reason or another. Between hockey season starting up and just having more free time, I hope to go out some more.

This is more of a quick catch up than anything truly meaningful.

But I never thought I'd be so happy to see the summer come an end.

I'm such a parent. =)

Change of Attitude

8/6/12
Sometimes you sit and listen to a song you've listened to a thousand times and suddenly hear the hidden meaning in it. For me that song this week was Metalingus by Alter Bridge. As a wrestling fan that song is Edge's theme music and actually my adopted theme song when I work on stuff.

Well if you actually listen to that song it's the attitude I should have adopted a long time ago. That fuck it all attitude. That "Live For The Moment" attitude. The Carpe Diem attitude. The attitude that always gets talked about but then when life gets in the way never get accomplished.

For me personally it's taking advantage of the time around the scheduled stuff. You can't do anything about the work schedules, the daycare or the therapy sessions BUT the important part is doing stuff around it.

It's taking the opportunity for a tickle fight and pool time. It's taking 1,000 pictures and showing off life. It's about not giving a shit what anyone thinks of you or what you like or dislike. It's not having to answer to people for an opinion.

People like to question my sudden change of attitude. It's not as sudden as some may think. I've just grown up. I've developed a two way phone system. I'm taking my personal time more seriously. I don't care about stuff that doesn't affect my family. I'm leaving people alone if they don't want to talk. I stay away from people's lives and problems unless they actually want me involved. I don't judge people on their past, because I don't have the most perfect one myself. Overall I'm more to myself but I've always been a bit of loner, so that shouldn't surprise anyone.

My phone is alot quieter and there's nothing wrong with that.

I think that's all I got.

"Some Men Just Want to Watch the World Burn"

It's taken a while for me to actually sit and process everything that has happened in the last month. I'm not a news watcher by any means.I actually go out of my way to NOT watch the news. I don't need to be depressed all the time and I really don't want the fucked up outside world cluttering my mind. Then it happened...

I was planning on seeing Dark Knight Rises the weekend it came out on Sunday night. Money situations had changed that but that wasn't all. The shooting in Aurora, Colorado happened, I'm not going to spend time going into details because everyone knows them already, but it did hit me hard. I try to keep a hard exterior mainly because I don't want people worrying about me, but that really got to me.

This weekend I finally got to see Dark Knight Rises. Well if you've seen it you know how crazy the first 15 minutes are. Well as all the gun fire in the movie is going off, almost subconsciously my eyes roamed the theater and found the extra and then I got back to the screen and back into the movie.

Looking back at that little moment, that wouldn't have happened last month. Going to the movies was suddenly no longer a $10 escape from reality, I got paranoid, despite what I told myself before we got there. Suddenly I wasn't safe anymore in a movie theater, all because of a psychopath in Colorado.

Is no where safe anymore?

That question was tragically answered on Sunday morning when another psycho shot up a church in fucking OAK CREEK!!! For my Jersey friends who don't understand how WI towns work, Oak Creek is literally on the border of the city of Milwaukee. This happened close to when I live and work. It doesn't make sense to me at all.

I'm not sure how I feel anymore about gun control or how affects the country. I just know right now I don't feel safe anywhere, except my own home.

I'm not even sure where I was going with this. I just needed to write my thoughts down.

Revamping

*This message is being posted in both This Is My Story and Thoughts of the Common Viewer*

Hello everyone,

For those who don't this, I have been trying to run two blogs for the last couple of years, being moderately successfully.

At one point Common Viewer was being updated daily, but honesty that became a hassle and took away from truly enjoying TV. So even though I was legitimately making real traction and people were reading my stuff, I took a break from the action.

Meanwhile I kinda stopped blogging in general. If you read my latest blog entry Catch Up FAQ, life is boring and not a whole lot really happens anymore, so those personal entries have been few and far between.

So where am I going with this history lesson?

During the last week I've been trying to combine my passions and truly give me a real outlet to get them out. Also I want to try to include social networking into my work so I could get my name out there, especially on Twitter. I think I figured it out.

Depending on which blog you are reading this in, if you look to the right you could some organization displaying my mini-blog series and special entries attached to it. I would include a breakdown here but I figured that would be a redundant.

Also from here on out, most Common Viewer entries will be Twitter exclusive. This will be done so it doesn't litter up my facebook timeline. Also most of the entries I post will be specific to a certain group of people and will be filled with hashtags.

Most blogs will be up on Thursdays, unless I find time otherwise which is rare.

That is about it from me.

Thank you for reading this and hope you enjoy my work for a long time to come.

---Blake

"Catch Up FAQ"

7/17/12

Recently I listened to the song Bruises by Train. If you haven't heard it, I suggest it.

Listening to that made me want to get in touch with some old friends but then I realized something. I had nothing to say. Maybe it's the social media world we live in where we know what's going on in each other's lives via facebook or twitter or maybe it's the fact that we are getting older and life really isn't that interseting, well at least not interseting enough to share with someone who isn't living with you.

This came to a head when I talked to one of my best female friends and asked why is it so difficult to simply say "I miss you & love you" without having an uncomfortable convo. She said something so simple yet true:

"Cause there's a usually a strange need to "catch up" ever on everyday boring stuff."

So that being said I'm going to write this to my friend as tomaybe make it easier to talk. I call it the "Catch Up FAQ!"

- Me & Mandy are alot better than we've ever been before. We've gotten through our rough patches and are now stronger than ever. It sounds like we fight alot but honestly 90% of that is just friendly bickering.

- CJ is doing great. Still can't believe he's four. He's starting to become too smart for his own good. In many ways he's your typical four year old, opinionated, test his boundaries, throws fits, loves to be outside, no fear at all and just a joy to be around 80% of the time. But with his autism, the bad times are multiplied to a different level. He gets overwhelmed and over stimulated very easily at times. If he has a hard time understanding something, or out of his routine, it's the end of world. In most occasions I hve to play bad cop but I'm okay with that. I don't need him to like me all the time. His hugs & kisses of love are good enough for me.

- Work is work. Honestly I am having my problems adjusting. I spent six plus years in a job where I was just about always doing something. Now I spend most of my day sitting at a security desk listening to podcasts and playing games. On a day like today, I'm exhausted so sitting is making me more tired. I am definately looking for other work still. I keep reminding myself tht I had to take this job to get out of the airport on my own terms.

- Yes I still like going out but my priorites have changed. Don't get insulted if I say no I don't feel like going out. The reason could be as simple as I'm a bit tired, I want to spend the night with after CJ goes to bed. Maybe I just don't feel like it. Honestly sometimes nights at home just watching TV with Mandy and CJ is more fun to me than going out and drinking without a real purpose. If you are throwing a party or going out for a reason, I'm in. But it's just because you want to get hammered or "live your life" those days are past me. I guess I've grown up and became a family man.

I think those are the major ones.

But people don't take this the wrong way. I still love talking to people, bullshitting with people, if something major, minor or funny happened, I still want to know. I'm just sick of the uncomfortable small talk about things all the time. Life might be boring if nothing changes but that just means when something does happen to change it'll mean more.

Before I forget one more thing I want to address and this will make alot of people happy. Now that I'm on Instagram, I will NOT be mass texting pictures anymore. The way my account works now, anyone who matters and wants to see what's going on can in now three places.

I think that's everything I have to say.
Thank you. =)

A Letter to Pat Monahan (A Retraction)

I'm a very emotional person so every so often I get out of hand and jump to conclusions I really shouldn't. In the pre-facebook and twitter days when I would rant in my livejournal, they were be very locally see. Did it piss off people? Yes but it wasn't on a grand national scale. It was minor and really didn't affect anything or anyone in the long run outside of my inner circle.

Well Sunday, I exploded and pressed send without thinking about it twice. After Mandy had a bit of a breakdown after Summerfest on Friday night, I did what any good husband would do, attacked the source of the pain. I then wrote what in wrestling would be known as a shoot. I attacked the band Train and mainly, and most importantly, Pat Monahan. I accused him of picking on Mandy because of her size and simply forgetting about her when he promised her a picture. In the moment it seemed like the right thing to do. I was angry and it was the only way I knew to take care of the problem.

Then two things happened. First I got a tweet from a fan:

Then me and Mandy found video of the Don't Stop Believin performance in question on YouTube last night:



Jump to 1:15. That's when Mandy gets on stage.

After watching, it wasn't nearly as bad as Mandy thought. The facts are that Pat treated her great, even gave her a hug. The experience was alot better than she remembered because of how the end of the night went.

So for the first time in all the years of blogging, I am retracting my blog. I also want to apologize to the band Train, Pat Monahan himself and all the fans of the band, so I'm sorry.

Also if this did indeed reach Pat, which I would assume it did, I'm sincerely sorry. My wife is an uber fan and has turned to your music for years through the good and bad times. This will not change.

Thank you.



Father's Day: The Work Edition

6/18/12

There aren't many moments in a calendar year that really stand out. Once in a while there's a moment that stands still and makes you super happy. That was Father's Day afternoon for me this year.

This was the first time since CJ was born that I had to work on Father's Day. I had Sundays off for so long that I am still having problems getting usd to getting up every week and going to work.

Mandy had an idea to actually come to work and have lunch with me The three of us. A little family time. Nothing crazy, just pizza on the dock. Well it poured on Saturday night sitting on the docks were not going to work as planned, so i set up a big exercise mat and a blanket I found in my trunk on the floor. Around 12:30, Mandy and CJ showed up.

I'll be honest it was pizza and crazy bread, but it wasn't about the food. It was the three of us on a mat spending time together. To me it was perfect. In a bizzare way it was the perfect family lunch and it made me so happy.

For the last week I've been going through alot mentally, questioning whether or not I am a good parent. Hey I'll admit I'm still learning. I know parenting isn't easy, I know he's never going to like me 100% of the time.I seem to fit well in the bad guy role with Mandy playing the good guy.

But through all the yelling and screaming, all the fighting and the brattiness of a soon to be four year old, espeecially with the added fun of autism (for the record, not s a crutch or excuse, but as a fact and reality), I know he loves me. My son does indeed love me.

This full realization came to me on a gym mat on the floor of a warehouse.

A rare perfect moment, in a no so perfect life.

Notes from a Night Out

5/28

 Finally able to put all the pieces together from the guys night out the other night. I was way too tired yesterday to write anything down. So before my short term memory starts messing me up, let me at write down a few notes.

Air Hockey: Reilly vs. Fellows...7-4, 3-7, 5-7

Karaoke performances:

All Star
How Do You Like Me Now
Life is A Highway
Voices

If I Had A Million Dollars
Men in Black
It's All Been Done

Bohemian Rhapsody

The Playoff Hangover

5/22

Boy these playoffs are starting to kick my ass!

I figured when I got a job that started later in the morning and I could get a little more sleep, I would get rid of this tired feeling.

I'm convinced I'm starting to have playoff game hangovers.

Games start at 7ish my time and usually, by the time I get through post game it's after 10. This doesn't seem so bad to the average person, and back in the old days it didn't seem that bad, especially in Eastern time.

But that was nine years ago. It was a completely different time. I was younger. Now 16 games into their run I'm realizing, as a fan I'm exhausted.

As most people who know me know (and if you don't have you been living under a rock?) I get very emotional invested in my teams. I know SHOCKER! It comes with being a sports fan. But what fans around here don't get, it's easiest to survive a championship in football than any other sport. I mean let's be honest, the Packers & Giants runs were both impressive but both teams played four games to win their respective Super Bowls, lasted a month and there was plenty of time to breather in between. Baseball fans (for the Mets, Brewers and Cubs fans, not Yanks and White Sox) don't even know what a real championship run is like. As for basketball, I'm convinced that it is the only sport of the big four that people are more mega fans of the players than the teams themselves. Just my view from the outside, as I am not a basketball fan. But the way the NHL formats the playoffs, it's very non stop. The longest break between games is two days.

Back when the Devils were red between between 94 and 03, it was a wild ride. Games would go late, some nights very little sleep was had. I mean if anyone remembers Game 5 & 6 of the 2000 Finals alone, it was insane. In those days I was emotional invested, but at the time, other than the 2000 Finals that ended up during finals week, it didn't really affect much. At the time sleep was overrated. I mean there times during a couple of those runs I would actually go out AFTER games.

Now jump nine years later. It's the middle of my third Devs/Rangers playoff series. Life has caught up to me. Every game night consits of making sure stuff is ready for work the next day, family dinners and CJ's bedtime. By the time eveything is done, CJ is in bed and even Mandy is asleep, it's the third period and I'm exhausted. The game ends and I head upstairs to watch post game, tweet a bit and update facebook. By the time it's all over, I hit the sack and honestly even if it's not THAT late, mentaly it is. Then I get up and I'm still exhausted and now here I sit at work looking like I haven't slept, trying to be professional. That my friends is the playoff hangover.

When you find yourself saying to yourself, I think bedtime is going to be between 9 & 9:30 because it's a non game night. When a series gets you so emotionally invested that you're just not mentally there the next morning.

This has been me in this series.

Questions from My Mind

5/21

Have you ever seen the "Civil War" episode of Boy Meets World season seven?

For those who haven't, I suggest it. It's a big two part episode at the end of the series.

It brought alot of things to mind. How close are we all to getting to the point of no return?

How many times can someone treat you like shit before you finally move on?

How many times can you forgive and forget?

How many times can someone hurt you before you've had enough?

How long before you finally snap?

How long can you handle an one sided friendship or relationship?

How many times can you hear the phrase "I've changed" or "I've missed you so much"?

Before I continue, I'm not perfect. I've never claimed to be. I've done alot of things and said alot of things that even I'm shocked certain people have stayed in my life.

There have been many in my past that have walked away, an in about 95% of cases I look back and don't blame em.

But for me personally I've had a long line. This may come from having a different mentality about friendships and even relationship in general.

I've always believed that no matter how bad things get, how ugly a situation, how much you've hurt each other in the past, if you work hard enough you can repair any relationships, and in some cases, my marriage included, make it stronger.

Maybe it's naive, or maybe it comes from a time period in my life when I thought I had nothing but some fare-weather friends and a bunch of people who love to get drunk. If there is something I did take out of that time period was the meaning of a true friendship.

For me I look at a true friend as not only are there for the good or bad times but for those times in between. You know those days when you need to vent, days you just want to go out for a drink, walk through the mall or even answer message they are extremely busy/stressed themselves, just so you get off the ledge.

That being said, back to my point, my time is line is long when putting up with being ignored, cancelled on ore even just feeling like it's a chore to to just talk.

This is viewed by many as a fault, maybe it is. But it also comes from my optimistic and positive attitude I have.

It also comes from experience. It comes from getting a fb message from a friend who you wrote off for two years and him apologizing for being a dick when was fucked up. It comes from everytime I get into a "friendship fight" with someone and then within six months we are hangin again like it never happened. It comes from everytime I've said "He'll be back one day" or "She'll get over it and call me again" and I was right.

With that kind of history I am willing to have that kind of long line.

But even then, can I really forgive everything?

Can I forgive being completely ignored for over two years?

Can I forgive someone who isn't even man enough to pick up a phone and tell me with his own voice have he truly feels?

Is it worth it anymore no matter how well or how long I've known those people?

Back On the Radar

5/16

As alot of people during my long partime break Mandy bought me Boy Meets World, seasons 5-7. Not only did this complete this series in our collection, it also gave me the ability to watch the college years, which even as a huge fan, I didn't watch that closely. The humor got mature and I just wasn't ready for it. Now I appreciate it.

Coupled with Glee as of late, my mind has been in overdrive.

For those who haven't noticed, I've been pretty quiet lately, except hockey talk, especially since my birthday. Yes I've been trying to make plans with people, and I talk to people who want to talk to me, but honestly I've been off radar.

This mainly started after I left the airport. Leaving was pretty hard on me. I wrote that blog saying goodbye, and all things considered, especially how things have gone since I left, I have no regrets. But after six years it was still weird.

Plus then I gave myself a week vacation, and then went into training right away. Right as that started, the Devils got red hot, all while the weather got alot nicer. So my life has become very adult again all of a sudden.

I guess this is the shot in the ass I needed to get back into gear.

Now to get back into the gym at least twice a week. That seems impossible right now but have to do something soon.

Otherwise for those wondering, especially after reading those random paragraphs that I have no way of tying together, I'm good.

I'm good, just busy and getting things in order so I can get into a new routine. It's taking alot longer than I expected.

Ramblings from My Notebook

With my new job, I have time to write again. It's nice I must admit. That being said I'm going to share some of what I write in here as I see fit. so when you see the notebook logo pop up there's where it's coming from. It may not make sense but when do ramblings make sense?

5/13/12

Ever sit on a delivery dock with one of your favorite movies on in the background and think about life?

What a silly question I know.

That's me today.

How did i get here??
How did I end up sitting on a delivery dock on a Sunday as a security officer of an empty warehouse facility?

Two weeks ago, I was an airport employee, depressed and struggling to even get out of bed in the morning.

Now I hang out as a security officer daily. 40 hours in uniform.

I've been asked do I like it?
How's work?
Honestly I'm still in an adjustment period.

Blake Reilly, Frontier Ramper *12/12/05-4/24/12*...Farewell and Thank You

"And now the end is here, and I've reached the final curtain."

At about 8:30 this morning I put in my notice. This is a big deal for me. As of tomorrow around 9, I will no longer be a Frontier Airlines employee.

It's weird because it's a journey that started so long ago. It was December 12, 2005 when I got hired by Skyway Airlines. Soon to be a Midwest ramper. I was young. It was just three months after I moved to WI. I was very unsure of myself. It was a new world as it was and now I was taking a job in a universe that seemed like it already exsisted.

Fresh out of training, I was confused. To this day I don't think we were ever truly fully trained. Even after 2 1/2 weeks. After a while I started to get the hang of things. The fact is without 6 months we already done to four people left from our training class. It didn't help that we got brought in in the dead of winter. If you aren't used to it, it can get the better of you.

Then the years started going by. Work became a 2nd home. I was seeing coworkers more than my family, but I guess that's how it is when you work full time. This where I will say a few things.

Alot of people look at the rampers, and even the airport employees, like they are nuts, especially lately. The fact is that we have turned into a family.

Are there fights? Hell yeah!

Do we all like each other? Hell no!

But being a ramper has taught me alot about growing up. It got through the rough patches in my marraige. It helped me go from a child trying to act like an adult to a grown up. Someone who is ready to let go of the training wheels and look into the future.

If there is one thing I was to say to the people from the ramp over the last six years, especially those few who have been there as long, or longer than me, thank you.

I'd be lying if I said I'd be the person I am today without all of you. This ride has not been easy, not by a long shot.

Every person I met along the way, from day 1 to now has showed me and taught me something about myself.

I'll be the first to admit that tomorrow is going to be strange. The ramp has been such a HUGE part of my life for so long that it's going to be so weird to move on. To walk away.

The one thing I can say I did though was leave on my own terms.

That being say. Tomorrow is my goodbye, my farewell.

Tomorrow I will retire my vest, turn in my badges and turn back into an airport guest instead of an employee. It's going to be weird but it's also going to be a HUGE weight off my shoulders.

That being said, here's my tribute video one last time for all my fellow rampers, past and present. Thank you again. I will miss you.

Road to 30: Last Day of My 20s...

"There's change comin', once and for all..."

Tomorrow is my birthday. A crazy thought to be honest. When I started this blog series it was going to mainly be pictures and video packages. I had an idea yesterday for a video I was going to post up today and I even started it. Then I woke up this morning.

I decided instead of doing another video, let me just type and talk and clear my head. Honestly I didn't expect this week to be so emotional.

First off I want to address some people who have been giving me crap for this whole "Road to 30" blog series. I've been asked why I've been doing this and living in the past. It hasn't been about that for me. Ever since I moved here when I was a young 23 year old, I have had a hard time saying goodbye to my past. I've had a difficult time stepping away from my past life and starting over. I figured I'd just grow out of it when I turned 25. Well that didn't happen. The problem I realized is that I never talked about it fully, addressed things fully. Sure I've ranted and raved over the years but I never actually put my feelings out there about people, situations and even tied up all the loose ends of my life. I decided late last year that my turning point would be when I turn 30. I would finally tie up the loose ends, say goodbye to my old issues and move on with my life.

In doing that I've found out a few things about myself.

1. Some people are just not going to like me. And I'm finally okay with that. I don't need the world to like me to live. I'm a-okay with a few people liking me.
2. Respect is not given at all, it's truly earned. This has come to light with all the changes are work (more on that later). I've spent alot of my life trying to get people to like, when all I want is respect from the people I associate myself with and work with. You don't have to like me, but after a long time I expect that I've earned your respect.
3. I've taken alot of pictures and videos over the years. Then again that's something EVERYONE knows.

But today it's simple. I'm actually a little emontional.

I know it's corny, trust me.

For years I would be like "I'm terrified to get to 30". Now I don't know why I was so worried. I'm going to be 30 and honestly I have EVERYTHING I've ever wanted.

My life is good. There's always the goals of stuff to do before I turn 30. Who knew I would achieve all the big ones.

Marriage, two families, great friends pretty much all the way to the eastern seaboard, have held a job in one way shape or form for close to ten years. I'm even starting a new employment adventure soon. The fact is what do I have to complain about???

So tomorrow I plan on celebrating. All day, in every way shape or form. Lots of pictures will be taken. It's almost like a new life will begin tomorrow.

Thank you to everyone who has guided me and been by my side. I wouldn't be who I am without you. Life is good. It's only going to get better.

Change is Good

Well today everything changed. I left work today. The ramp room was being changed over. We were trying to figure out as a team how to work out all these changes in the flight schedule. Well I left early today to goto a job interview.

After a drive downtown nervous as hell, I got in there and got offered a position in South Milwaukee with Securitas Security Services USA, Inc. Full time work. Workable hours on the day shift. Orentation next Tuesday morning and start training on May 1st.

So soon I will no longer be a Frontier Airlines employee.

This was unexpected turn of events and a shocking conclusion to a wild six plus year ride.

Over the next two weeks I will be tying up all my loose ends and will be able to process everything.

Saying goodbye won't be easy, but hey I guess it's finally my turn to move on.

The Road to 30: The Evolution of Friendship

So I was trying to find a way to show my friends, especially the long time ones, how much they mean to me. So I remembered a photo album I kept on MySpace called "The Evolution of Friendship" and as you go through it you can see how we all grew up and who came in and out of our lives. In trying to figure out how to convey that story I kept hearing a song called Remember The Magic by Brian McKnight in my head. It's a song that I could have sworn I used for a video years ago, but alas I did not so now almost 16 years after hearing the song for the first time, I finally used it. Enjoy:

"Go Where The Puck's Gonna Be"

I have this tendency to sit here and write the same blog post over again. I think alot of people do that. Some are on purpose (themed blogs where you have to find a tie in no matter the topic) but those are usually the big time ones where even though it ends the same way, the story is so good that it never matters. I've never been that good.

For me my blog has become a countdown to my 30th birthday. Nothing wrong with that. I have some awesome blog ideas coming soon in the next week or two. But a few things in the last 48 hours have become totally clear.

(The next couple of things are in here despite Mandy getting sick of my obsessions lately. Just saying.)

First of all, there's a phrase that I've really been trying to get to the true meaning of. "Keep your head up and never chase the puck; go where the puck’s gonna be." Kevin Smith got that from Walter Gretsky and turned it into his mantra. That quote is on my facebook page at the end of a paragraph about the greatness of hockey compared to real life. But to honest I never really looked into the words. Till I actually heard it fully explained by Kevin himself last night.

Now it makes sense. It's not about hockey. It's about life. The way to truly enjoy life. Not just looking at what you've done, look at what you CAN do. Don't sit and say "I don't know if I should do this" and just doing it. Instead of saying, "I want to be" something, just being that person.

Honestly my dreams and what I wanted to be got really shuffled over the years. Over the last six years all my personal dreams came true. I am a husband, a loving one. Do I make mistakes? Yes. Are the perfect couple in other people's eyes? Not really. But for me, she is perfect for me. I am a father, and while we have tempers that clash, I know I'm doing something right. I actually have TWO families that love me and I love them.

But whenever I am what I want to be as far as a career, I don't have an answer anymore. I have been an airport employee for so long, that when that comes to an end, I'm not sure where to go. I have a degree yes but the issue is I don't have the dreams anymore like, "I want to be a web designer" or "I want to be an editor". I kinda just want to make a living and have time for my family.

Maybe at the end of the day, I just want to be a family man. I want to be involved, I want to be there, as often as possible. I actually like this side of the world. I like the fact that I have time for my family.

My other thing lately has been the words "Seize The Day". That song has been a personal favorite for twenty years. Three simple words that when you say them they are very cliche. You are absolutely right.

But think about it this way. What would life be like if you don't strive for those goals? Seize every moment that you have.

I'm going to be 30 and for the last five years I've been trying to tie all the loose ends of my life together. I don't want regrets and issues to haunt me anymore.

So then I could look ahead and seize every oppurnity that is in front of me. Maybe a new job, maybe yet another hockey game, maybe just going out on a date with the most beautiful woman in the world.

The moments might since small and insuffient to everyone else but to me they are HUGE.

That brings to one other thing. Something I'm still learning, especially dealing with CJ's tantrums. If something is small to you, it may not be to someone else.

Even if you are so sick of hearing about it, talking about it, seeing pictures of it or even seeing tweets about it. Sometimes it's little things that helps get through the day.

For me today, Disney made me day by announcing the Newsies Broadway soundtrack is available for preorder. In addition I've been able to listen to two songs in full from the show. That kind of obsession sounds crazy to just about everyone, I'm aware of that. I'm actually surprised I haven't got more harrassed for all my Newsies stuff on fb lately. But it makes me happy at the end of the day and that's all that matters to me.

Where was I going with all this?

Oh yeah now I remember.

Life is short, enjoy it. Seize every moment you have in front of you. Never let anyone put you down, even if they want to. Always do what your heart tells you, esepcially when you have someone who inspires you by your side.

Oh one more thing.

Life happens. When you start concentrating on your current life and doing something with it, people start to get ignored, or it seems like they are just completely out of your life. Well even in the internet era, this happpens. I have alot of friends in Jersey who I barely talk to anymore. As a matter of fact, one just got married over the weekend (Congrats Cira!). Lately I've come to conclusion that it's all part of this thing called life. If you have true friends, they don't go away. If you have true friends, they are there when you are in town to offer a ride, or take a couple of hours out of their lives to go out to dinner. Those are the people that matter. At the end of the day those are the people who never go away. I'm lucky I've got a bunch of those. Most aren't as lucky as me. That being said, when they need me, I'll be here for them as well. We don't have to talk every day, every week, or even every month. But what matters is those times I did talk to them, catch up on life, see how things are. As much as knowing everything about everyone on fb is great, sometimes, most times, those long friend talks are BY FAR the best things in the world.

I think I'm done now.

"Minute by minute, that's how you win it. We will find our way. But let us seize the day."-Newsies (Broadway)

The Road to 30: A Drinking Salute

Well here's a new video presentation. This one doesn't need a massive background or long intro. It's simple enough as it is.

Enjoy!

Being Sentimental

Call me sentimental but as I get to my 30th birthday I'm always thinking back to the past.

Well my mom gave me a project to move our old family videos to DVD. No problem, I'm not doing much right now except looking for work. So to kill the afternoon and keep me from napping, I'm working on this.

Well that being said no be shocked if I share some snapshot and videos from this.

It's one month till my birthday so why not have some fun and put some stuff up so people can celebrate with me.

So those on fb, enjoy the ride and feel free to comment along. It's going to be a crazy next month.

A Family Day Trip

Well yesterday was definitely an adventure. Anyone who is on facebook this morning is probably wondering where those pictures of me and my family came from. Well that's what this entry is about.

First of all, before I hear "why didn't you tell me you were in town?" from any of friends, this was not a trip about you guys. This was a secret trip, not known by many, to surprise my family and spend some much needed time, especially since me and my sister are now getting along again.

#2, I totally left town and went completely quiet on fb, twitter and even my games. The only place was at all updated was foursquare and only one person even caught on to it at all yesterday.

That being said, here's what this entry will contain. I wrote down notes and thoughts in my notebook throughout the day in order, I took pictures and obviously updated foursquare. So that's how I will tell this story. So now presenting, Planes, Trains & Automobiles Part Deux a.k.a. Family Day Trip 2012.

5:13am

Nervousness is the word today.

First of all I haven't flown by myself since November 2005. I went home for Thanksgiving right after I moved here in September.

The other thing is that I'm visiting my family for the first time since November 2010. This is a total surprise appearance so I hope this works.

5:26am

I don't remember the last time I got a seat assigned to me AT the ticket counter.

5:42am

Time to relax. Just me, my podcasts and a Cherry Coke Zero.

6:27am

The inbound at my gate just came in so at least we're not waiting for a plane. Always a good thing. Now I hope we aren't holding for connects or a crew.

7:18am

I like this whole having a ticket thing I was like the fourth one on.

I'm in the emergency row like I like and have a window seat.

While I really need to lose weight, I do not need a fatman seat belt extender! Woot!

I took my badge off so technically I'm not standby anymore so I'm thinking I might take off my sweatshirt and travel in my Ads shirt and be more comfortable and no one will care.

7:35am

Nice! Am early push !! Love it!! Good start to this day!

Also Cliffy is out of my bag and with me. He's been my travel companion for years, almost like a good luck charm. Couldn't imagine this day without him. it's like Mandy traveling without fuzzy pillow.

Time to go. Let's do this!!

7:51am

This might be the earliest I've heard "You may turn on your electronic devices." Awesome! It's too quiet right now.

I realized I forgot the flybucks I got a the Ads game a few weeks ago. Good thing I don't feel like drinking any booze today. Back to magazines catch up.

8:43am

I guess it was smart of me to save podcasts for this trip. The only problem I'm having is not laughing out loud when listening.

It almost feels like I've been up here for ages. I guess it's only been a hour and we'll be there soon. I kinda wanna get there already I still have to take a tram and whatnot before I even get to Rutherford.

One thing that is noticeable is that I really wish Mandy was sitting with me, cuddling with me. Thus is life.

There seems to be some turbulence, shocker, and the flight attendant was checking seat belts and she saw Cliffy with his seat belt and got a chuckle out of that.

Oh I see something other then clouds outside. Yay!!

10:09am

Final descent into Newark. I also have changed my entries to Eastern Time.

Here we go.

12:03pm

Well this is what I get for rushing. I got to Secaucus Junction and stand by Track G instead of H. So  missed my train to Rutherford.

So I go to plan B. Instead of waiting till 12:45, I called Sabrina and she's picking me up. Change up. This is truly going to be Planes, Trains & Automobiles Part Duex.

 

5:25pm

What an afternoon.

I will say it was amazing to see everyone again. It's what I needed.

The facts are it's true you don't realize what you are missing till it's not there and see my family even for a short time was great.

I'm on the way in a car that my folks got me to take me to LGA. There I will write more.

7:04pm (I think)

Well, here I am. LaGuardia Airport, Gate B1.

Again, the flight is wide open so I got another seat in the exit row so it will be a relaxing flight.

Honestly I am confused what time it is. I'm ready to head home. I miss Mandy and CJ but it was great to see everyone.

7:35pm

Ah almighty leg room.

On board ready to go home.

I think I burned my mouth and tongue on the hot chocolate I drank.

At least I have gum and a Coke Zero to cool it off.

Cliffy is on my leg but it looks like the seat next to me is empty so that will be his.

It's time to go already. Sweet!!

7:50pm

As we taxi out I can finally relax enough to express how I feel about today.

Today was needed. I know the people who read this are mostly my friends and they are reading all this and wondering "What the hell? Why didn't you tell me??"

This was, for the first time in a very long time, a family day.

It was about the sound in Sabrina's voice when I called her for a ride. It was about spending the afternoon playing with Sammi, something I NEVER got before. It was about Claudia's reaction when she knew I was just in the other room, "I hear his voice!!" and running and hugging like only Claud could. It was the look on my parents' faces when they saw me outside the school's gym.

I've spent alot of the last month thinking about the past. Well today was about the present and the foreseeable positive future.

For the first time in a long time, another weight is off my shoulder.

Today is what amounts to four and a half hours, my family problems ended, things get back to normal. Life is good once again on the Jersey side of things.

Now if this flight will just take off!!!!