"Catch Up FAQ"

7/17/12

Recently I listened to the song Bruises by Train. If you haven't heard it, I suggest it.

Listening to that made me want to get in touch with some old friends but then I realized something. I had nothing to say. Maybe it's the social media world we live in where we know what's going on in each other's lives via facebook or twitter or maybe it's the fact that we are getting older and life really isn't that interseting, well at least not interseting enough to share with someone who isn't living with you.

This came to a head when I talked to one of my best female friends and asked why is it so difficult to simply say "I miss you & love you" without having an uncomfortable convo. She said something so simple yet true:

"Cause there's a usually a strange need to "catch up" ever on everyday boring stuff."

So that being said I'm going to write this to my friend as tomaybe make it easier to talk. I call it the "Catch Up FAQ!"

- Me & Mandy are alot better than we've ever been before. We've gotten through our rough patches and are now stronger than ever. It sounds like we fight alot but honestly 90% of that is just friendly bickering.

- CJ is doing great. Still can't believe he's four. He's starting to become too smart for his own good. In many ways he's your typical four year old, opinionated, test his boundaries, throws fits, loves to be outside, no fear at all and just a joy to be around 80% of the time. But with his autism, the bad times are multiplied to a different level. He gets overwhelmed and over stimulated very easily at times. If he has a hard time understanding something, or out of his routine, it's the end of world. In most occasions I hve to play bad cop but I'm okay with that. I don't need him to like me all the time. His hugs & kisses of love are good enough for me.

- Work is work. Honestly I am having my problems adjusting. I spent six plus years in a job where I was just about always doing something. Now I spend most of my day sitting at a security desk listening to podcasts and playing games. On a day like today, I'm exhausted so sitting is making me more tired. I am definately looking for other work still. I keep reminding myself tht I had to take this job to get out of the airport on my own terms.

- Yes I still like going out but my priorites have changed. Don't get insulted if I say no I don't feel like going out. The reason could be as simple as I'm a bit tired, I want to spend the night with after CJ goes to bed. Maybe I just don't feel like it. Honestly sometimes nights at home just watching TV with Mandy and CJ is more fun to me than going out and drinking without a real purpose. If you are throwing a party or going out for a reason, I'm in. But it's just because you want to get hammered or "live your life" those days are past me. I guess I've grown up and became a family man.

I think those are the major ones.

But people don't take this the wrong way. I still love talking to people, bullshitting with people, if something major, minor or funny happened, I still want to know. I'm just sick of the uncomfortable small talk about things all the time. Life might be boring if nothing changes but that just means when something does happen to change it'll mean more.

Before I forget one more thing I want to address and this will make alot of people happy. Now that I'm on Instagram, I will NOT be mass texting pictures anymore. The way my account works now, anyone who matters and wants to see what's going on can in now three places.

I think that's everything I have to say.
Thank you. =)

What's Your Name Cristian? *Video*

4/9/11:New Way to Pop Bubbles (Video)

Getting Anger Out (Video-3/27/11)

The Hard Part is Being Honest

It seems people besides Mandy actually read this thing. Good to know. So let me get a few things off my chest.

Last night I posted lyrics to Limp Bizkit's song Break Stuff, it just fit how I was feeling about certain people in the moment. I appreciate some really awesome friends actually being concerned. Now let me get my point I was hinting to last night.

It seems people don't seem to understand me, my family or even my way of life. People seem to think me and Mandy have it easy. People seem to think that we have alot of money to just throw around. People think it's simple for us to just get up make plans on the fly. Well to those people who think that, you couldn't be MORE WRONG.

First of all just because we live with Mandy's parents doesn't mean we are freeloaders. I've recently heard that we have it really good because "we live at home". Yes, we have a roof over our heads. But we pay rent. We pay for groceries and have alot of stuff to do around the house to keep the house in order. It's a major group effort every day to keep things in order. It's not just her parents doing and paying for everything and we are living scott-free, that couldn't be further from the truth.

That brings me to a major thing, money. For all you dumbasses that think we have money to throw around because "we live at home" you are mistaken. We have major bills. Daycare, cars, car insurance and student loans are just the tip of the iceberg. Much like EVERYONE else we are struggling at times to stay afloat. Daycare fees right now are higher than some places charge for rent, and if you think I'm bullshitting you, you obviously never looked up prices. Me and Mandy have finally gotten a budget together because we NEED to get ourselves organized and setup.

Also I want to address this theory that we could do whatever we want because we have "built-in babysitters". That is so not how it works at all. If you know how we plan things, 90% of the time we go out AFTER CJ is in bed so that all her parents really have to do is man the monitor. The other times, when we make plans that aren't CJ-friendly, they are planned way in advance, setup with her parents, make sure they don't have plans first. I've already had to change plans that were made because her parents weren't going to be home to watch CJ. I can speak for Mandy on this one when I say we don't like to "take advantage" of her parents to watch CJ. He's our son, our responibilty. I'm always asked why I plan things so late at night, the main reason is CJ. If you don't like it, you don't have to hang out with us, simple as that.

Finally, I have one thing I need to get off my chest and make VERY clear. Over the last year I've made it very very clear that I am willing to write you out of my life if you piss me off enough. I'm sick of being made fun of, being teased, being made to look stupid or feel dumb. I will admit I'm not the smartest person in the world when it come to being book smart, but I make up for it in street smarts, common sense and just being a postive nice guy. I'm so sick of being put down by friends just because I'm on a different page at times.

The facts are I don't really keep up with current events and newstories, never have. I don't watch the news or even read the paper. Alot of times I always joke if it's not on Disney Channel, I don't know about it, which true. When CJ is up, I spend most of my day watching Playhouse Disney and other cartoons, who cares? He's 2, and it's appropriate for him. So what if I pretty know every song from Phineas and Ferb and the Imagination Movers? It's what is on during the day at the house. It's how it works. I do watch "adult programming" as Mandy puts it but mostly I rather just make CJ happy and leave his shows on.

Also I'm 28, I might be young but I'm not dumbfounded and blind. I've learned from my past. My ears are always open and my eyes are better than most. I am great at reading people's emotions and facial expressions. People trust me and talk to me all the time. That being said, if something is said about me, it always get back to me. I always know who said it and how it was meant. I might act like a goofball, but in all seriousness I'm mature person that likes to goof off. I've grown up more than people realize because I don't like acting serious most of the time till I HAVE TO. I hope people realize that. I'm very good at hiding my feelings but never ever forget anything. I like to stay under the radar for that reason but at the same time I hope people don't underestimate me. I'm smarter than I act and wiser than I come across.

I think I'm done and feel much better. I need to take a breath, and maybe now I can sleep better. Between all this and CJ being sick I haven't been able to sleep well over the last week or so.