Oh Look It's September...

I must admit it's been a busy summer. One of the busiest in years. I spent the last two week trying to figure out a way to cover this summer here, but couldn't find a way without boring everyone who reads this. So instead I made this new video:

That being said, the summer is indeed officially over.

Things are going to finally calm down. That being said I have things to do, projects and cleaning to catch up on, especially since I do have two days to work on stuff every week. I also hope to catch up with some of my friends whom I haven't seen all summer for one reason or another. Between hockey season starting up and just having more free time, I hope to go out some more.

This is more of a quick catch up than anything truly meaningful.

But I never thought I'd be so happy to see the summer come an end.

I'm such a parent. =)

Change of Attitude

8/6/12
Sometimes you sit and listen to a song you've listened to a thousand times and suddenly hear the hidden meaning in it. For me that song this week was Metalingus by Alter Bridge. As a wrestling fan that song is Edge's theme music and actually my adopted theme song when I work on stuff.

Well if you actually listen to that song it's the attitude I should have adopted a long time ago. That fuck it all attitude. That "Live For The Moment" attitude. The Carpe Diem attitude. The attitude that always gets talked about but then when life gets in the way never get accomplished.

For me personally it's taking advantage of the time around the scheduled stuff. You can't do anything about the work schedules, the daycare or the therapy sessions BUT the important part is doing stuff around it.

It's taking the opportunity for a tickle fight and pool time. It's taking 1,000 pictures and showing off life. It's about not giving a shit what anyone thinks of you or what you like or dislike. It's not having to answer to people for an opinion.

People like to question my sudden change of attitude. It's not as sudden as some may think. I've just grown up. I've developed a two way phone system. I'm taking my personal time more seriously. I don't care about stuff that doesn't affect my family. I'm leaving people alone if they don't want to talk. I stay away from people's lives and problems unless they actually want me involved. I don't judge people on their past, because I don't have the most perfect one myself. Overall I'm more to myself but I've always been a bit of loner, so that shouldn't surprise anyone.

My phone is alot quieter and there's nothing wrong with that.

I think that's all I got.

"Some Men Just Want to Watch the World Burn"

It's taken a while for me to actually sit and process everything that has happened in the last month. I'm not a news watcher by any means.I actually go out of my way to NOT watch the news. I don't need to be depressed all the time and I really don't want the fucked up outside world cluttering my mind. Then it happened...

I was planning on seeing Dark Knight Rises the weekend it came out on Sunday night. Money situations had changed that but that wasn't all. The shooting in Aurora, Colorado happened, I'm not going to spend time going into details because everyone knows them already, but it did hit me hard. I try to keep a hard exterior mainly because I don't want people worrying about me, but that really got to me.

This weekend I finally got to see Dark Knight Rises. Well if you've seen it you know how crazy the first 15 minutes are. Well as all the gun fire in the movie is going off, almost subconsciously my eyes roamed the theater and found the extra and then I got back to the screen and back into the movie.

Looking back at that little moment, that wouldn't have happened last month. Going to the movies was suddenly no longer a $10 escape from reality, I got paranoid, despite what I told myself before we got there. Suddenly I wasn't safe anymore in a movie theater, all because of a psychopath in Colorado.

Is no where safe anymore?

That question was tragically answered on Sunday morning when another psycho shot up a church in fucking OAK CREEK!!! For my Jersey friends who don't understand how WI towns work, Oak Creek is literally on the border of the city of Milwaukee. This happened close to when I live and work. It doesn't make sense to me at all.

I'm not sure how I feel anymore about gun control or how affects the country. I just know right now I don't feel safe anywhere, except my own home.

I'm not even sure where I was going with this. I just needed to write my thoughts down.

Revamping

*This message is being posted in both This Is My Story and Thoughts of the Common Viewer*

Hello everyone,

For those who don't this, I have been trying to run two blogs for the last couple of years, being moderately successfully.

At one point Common Viewer was being updated daily, but honesty that became a hassle and took away from truly enjoying TV. So even though I was legitimately making real traction and people were reading my stuff, I took a break from the action.

Meanwhile I kinda stopped blogging in general. If you read my latest blog entry Catch Up FAQ, life is boring and not a whole lot really happens anymore, so those personal entries have been few and far between.

So where am I going with this history lesson?

During the last week I've been trying to combine my passions and truly give me a real outlet to get them out. Also I want to try to include social networking into my work so I could get my name out there, especially on Twitter. I think I figured it out.

Depending on which blog you are reading this in, if you look to the right you could some organization displaying my mini-blog series and special entries attached to it. I would include a breakdown here but I figured that would be a redundant.

Also from here on out, most Common Viewer entries will be Twitter exclusive. This will be done so it doesn't litter up my facebook timeline. Also most of the entries I post will be specific to a certain group of people and will be filled with hashtags.

Most blogs will be up on Thursdays, unless I find time otherwise which is rare.

That is about it from me.

Thank you for reading this and hope you enjoy my work for a long time to come.

---Blake

"Catch Up FAQ"

7/17/12

Recently I listened to the song Bruises by Train. If you haven't heard it, I suggest it.

Listening to that made me want to get in touch with some old friends but then I realized something. I had nothing to say. Maybe it's the social media world we live in where we know what's going on in each other's lives via facebook or twitter or maybe it's the fact that we are getting older and life really isn't that interseting, well at least not interseting enough to share with someone who isn't living with you.

This came to a head when I talked to one of my best female friends and asked why is it so difficult to simply say "I miss you & love you" without having an uncomfortable convo. She said something so simple yet true:

"Cause there's a usually a strange need to "catch up" ever on everyday boring stuff."

So that being said I'm going to write this to my friend as tomaybe make it easier to talk. I call it the "Catch Up FAQ!"

- Me & Mandy are alot better than we've ever been before. We've gotten through our rough patches and are now stronger than ever. It sounds like we fight alot but honestly 90% of that is just friendly bickering.

- CJ is doing great. Still can't believe he's four. He's starting to become too smart for his own good. In many ways he's your typical four year old, opinionated, test his boundaries, throws fits, loves to be outside, no fear at all and just a joy to be around 80% of the time. But with his autism, the bad times are multiplied to a different level. He gets overwhelmed and over stimulated very easily at times. If he has a hard time understanding something, or out of his routine, it's the end of world. In most occasions I hve to play bad cop but I'm okay with that. I don't need him to like me all the time. His hugs & kisses of love are good enough for me.

- Work is work. Honestly I am having my problems adjusting. I spent six plus years in a job where I was just about always doing something. Now I spend most of my day sitting at a security desk listening to podcasts and playing games. On a day like today, I'm exhausted so sitting is making me more tired. I am definately looking for other work still. I keep reminding myself tht I had to take this job to get out of the airport on my own terms.

- Yes I still like going out but my priorites have changed. Don't get insulted if I say no I don't feel like going out. The reason could be as simple as I'm a bit tired, I want to spend the night with after CJ goes to bed. Maybe I just don't feel like it. Honestly sometimes nights at home just watching TV with Mandy and CJ is more fun to me than going out and drinking without a real purpose. If you are throwing a party or going out for a reason, I'm in. But it's just because you want to get hammered or "live your life" those days are past me. I guess I've grown up and became a family man.

I think those are the major ones.

But people don't take this the wrong way. I still love talking to people, bullshitting with people, if something major, minor or funny happened, I still want to know. I'm just sick of the uncomfortable small talk about things all the time. Life might be boring if nothing changes but that just means when something does happen to change it'll mean more.

Before I forget one more thing I want to address and this will make alot of people happy. Now that I'm on Instagram, I will NOT be mass texting pictures anymore. The way my account works now, anyone who matters and wants to see what's going on can in now three places.

I think that's everything I have to say.
Thank you. =)

A Letter to Pat Monahan (A Retraction)

I'm a very emotional person so every so often I get out of hand and jump to conclusions I really shouldn't. In the pre-facebook and twitter days when I would rant in my livejournal, they were be very locally see. Did it piss off people? Yes but it wasn't on a grand national scale. It was minor and really didn't affect anything or anyone in the long run outside of my inner circle.

Well Sunday, I exploded and pressed send without thinking about it twice. After Mandy had a bit of a breakdown after Summerfest on Friday night, I did what any good husband would do, attacked the source of the pain. I then wrote what in wrestling would be known as a shoot. I attacked the band Train and mainly, and most importantly, Pat Monahan. I accused him of picking on Mandy because of her size and simply forgetting about her when he promised her a picture. In the moment it seemed like the right thing to do. I was angry and it was the only way I knew to take care of the problem.

Then two things happened. First I got a tweet from a fan:

Then me and Mandy found video of the Don't Stop Believin performance in question on YouTube last night:



Jump to 1:15. That's when Mandy gets on stage.

After watching, it wasn't nearly as bad as Mandy thought. The facts are that Pat treated her great, even gave her a hug. The experience was alot better than she remembered because of how the end of the night went.

So for the first time in all the years of blogging, I am retracting my blog. I also want to apologize to the band Train, Pat Monahan himself and all the fans of the band, so I'm sorry.

Also if this did indeed reach Pat, which I would assume it did, I'm sincerely sorry. My wife is an uber fan and has turned to your music for years through the good and bad times. This will not change.

Thank you.



Father's Day: The Work Edition

6/18/12

There aren't many moments in a calendar year that really stand out. Once in a while there's a moment that stands still and makes you super happy. That was Father's Day afternoon for me this year.

This was the first time since CJ was born that I had to work on Father's Day. I had Sundays off for so long that I am still having problems getting usd to getting up every week and going to work.

Mandy had an idea to actually come to work and have lunch with me The three of us. A little family time. Nothing crazy, just pizza on the dock. Well it poured on Saturday night sitting on the docks were not going to work as planned, so i set up a big exercise mat and a blanket I found in my trunk on the floor. Around 12:30, Mandy and CJ showed up.

I'll be honest it was pizza and crazy bread, but it wasn't about the food. It was the three of us on a mat spending time together. To me it was perfect. In a bizzare way it was the perfect family lunch and it made me so happy.

For the last week I've been going through alot mentally, questioning whether or not I am a good parent. Hey I'll admit I'm still learning. I know parenting isn't easy, I know he's never going to like me 100% of the time.I seem to fit well in the bad guy role with Mandy playing the good guy.

But through all the yelling and screaming, all the fighting and the brattiness of a soon to be four year old, espeecially with the added fun of autism (for the record, not s a crutch or excuse, but as a fact and reality), I know he loves me. My son does indeed love me.

This full realization came to me on a gym mat on the floor of a warehouse.

A rare perfect moment, in a no so perfect life.