Questions from My Mind

5/21

Have you ever seen the "Civil War" episode of Boy Meets World season seven?

For those who haven't, I suggest it. It's a big two part episode at the end of the series.

It brought alot of things to mind. How close are we all to getting to the point of no return?

How many times can someone treat you like shit before you finally move on?

How many times can you forgive and forget?

How many times can someone hurt you before you've had enough?

How long before you finally snap?

How long can you handle an one sided friendship or relationship?

How many times can you hear the phrase "I've changed" or "I've missed you so much"?

Before I continue, I'm not perfect. I've never claimed to be. I've done alot of things and said alot of things that even I'm shocked certain people have stayed in my life.

There have been many in my past that have walked away, an in about 95% of cases I look back and don't blame em.

But for me personally I've had a long line. This may come from having a different mentality about friendships and even relationship in general.

I've always believed that no matter how bad things get, how ugly a situation, how much you've hurt each other in the past, if you work hard enough you can repair any relationships, and in some cases, my marriage included, make it stronger.

Maybe it's naive, or maybe it comes from a time period in my life when I thought I had nothing but some fare-weather friends and a bunch of people who love to get drunk. If there is something I did take out of that time period was the meaning of a true friendship.

For me I look at a true friend as not only are there for the good or bad times but for those times in between. You know those days when you need to vent, days you just want to go out for a drink, walk through the mall or even answer message they are extremely busy/stressed themselves, just so you get off the ledge.

That being said, back to my point, my time is line is long when putting up with being ignored, cancelled on ore even just feeling like it's a chore to to just talk.

This is viewed by many as a fault, maybe it is. But it also comes from my optimistic and positive attitude I have.

It also comes from experience. It comes from getting a fb message from a friend who you wrote off for two years and him apologizing for being a dick when was fucked up. It comes from everytime I get into a "friendship fight" with someone and then within six months we are hangin again like it never happened. It comes from everytime I've said "He'll be back one day" or "She'll get over it and call me again" and I was right.

With that kind of history I am willing to have that kind of long line.

But even then, can I really forgive everything?

Can I forgive being completely ignored for over two years?

Can I forgive someone who isn't even man enough to pick up a phone and tell me with his own voice have he truly feels?

Is it worth it anymore no matter how well or how long I've known those people?

Back On the Radar

5/16

As alot of people during my long partime break Mandy bought me Boy Meets World, seasons 5-7. Not only did this complete this series in our collection, it also gave me the ability to watch the college years, which even as a huge fan, I didn't watch that closely. The humor got mature and I just wasn't ready for it. Now I appreciate it.

Coupled with Glee as of late, my mind has been in overdrive.

For those who haven't noticed, I've been pretty quiet lately, except hockey talk, especially since my birthday. Yes I've been trying to make plans with people, and I talk to people who want to talk to me, but honestly I've been off radar.

This mainly started after I left the airport. Leaving was pretty hard on me. I wrote that blog saying goodbye, and all things considered, especially how things have gone since I left, I have no regrets. But after six years it was still weird.

Plus then I gave myself a week vacation, and then went into training right away. Right as that started, the Devils got red hot, all while the weather got alot nicer. So my life has become very adult again all of a sudden.

I guess this is the shot in the ass I needed to get back into gear.

Now to get back into the gym at least twice a week. That seems impossible right now but have to do something soon.

Otherwise for those wondering, especially after reading those random paragraphs that I have no way of tying together, I'm good.

I'm good, just busy and getting things in order so I can get into a new routine. It's taking alot longer than I expected.

Ramblings from My Notebook

With my new job, I have time to write again. It's nice I must admit. That being said I'm going to share some of what I write in here as I see fit. so when you see the notebook logo pop up there's where it's coming from. It may not make sense but when do ramblings make sense?

5/13/12

Ever sit on a delivery dock with one of your favorite movies on in the background and think about life?

What a silly question I know.

That's me today.

How did i get here??
How did I end up sitting on a delivery dock on a Sunday as a security officer of an empty warehouse facility?

Two weeks ago, I was an airport employee, depressed and struggling to even get out of bed in the morning.

Now I hang out as a security officer daily. 40 hours in uniform.

I've been asked do I like it?
How's work?
Honestly I'm still in an adjustment period.

Blake Reilly, Frontier Ramper *12/12/05-4/24/12*...Farewell and Thank You

"And now the end is here, and I've reached the final curtain."

At about 8:30 this morning I put in my notice. This is a big deal for me. As of tomorrow around 9, I will no longer be a Frontier Airlines employee.

It's weird because it's a journey that started so long ago. It was December 12, 2005 when I got hired by Skyway Airlines. Soon to be a Midwest ramper. I was young. It was just three months after I moved to WI. I was very unsure of myself. It was a new world as it was and now I was taking a job in a universe that seemed like it already exsisted.

Fresh out of training, I was confused. To this day I don't think we were ever truly fully trained. Even after 2 1/2 weeks. After a while I started to get the hang of things. The fact is without 6 months we already done to four people left from our training class. It didn't help that we got brought in in the dead of winter. If you aren't used to it, it can get the better of you.

Then the years started going by. Work became a 2nd home. I was seeing coworkers more than my family, but I guess that's how it is when you work full time. This where I will say a few things.

Alot of people look at the rampers, and even the airport employees, like they are nuts, especially lately. The fact is that we have turned into a family.

Are there fights? Hell yeah!

Do we all like each other? Hell no!

But being a ramper has taught me alot about growing up. It got through the rough patches in my marraige. It helped me go from a child trying to act like an adult to a grown up. Someone who is ready to let go of the training wheels and look into the future.

If there is one thing I was to say to the people from the ramp over the last six years, especially those few who have been there as long, or longer than me, thank you.

I'd be lying if I said I'd be the person I am today without all of you. This ride has not been easy, not by a long shot.

Every person I met along the way, from day 1 to now has showed me and taught me something about myself.

I'll be the first to admit that tomorrow is going to be strange. The ramp has been such a HUGE part of my life for so long that it's going to be so weird to move on. To walk away.

The one thing I can say I did though was leave on my own terms.

That being say. Tomorrow is my goodbye, my farewell.

Tomorrow I will retire my vest, turn in my badges and turn back into an airport guest instead of an employee. It's going to be weird but it's also going to be a HUGE weight off my shoulders.

That being said, here's my tribute video one last time for all my fellow rampers, past and present. Thank you again. I will miss you.

Road to 30: Last Day of My 20s...

"There's change comin', once and for all..."

Tomorrow is my birthday. A crazy thought to be honest. When I started this blog series it was going to mainly be pictures and video packages. I had an idea yesterday for a video I was going to post up today and I even started it. Then I woke up this morning.

I decided instead of doing another video, let me just type and talk and clear my head. Honestly I didn't expect this week to be so emotional.

First off I want to address some people who have been giving me crap for this whole "Road to 30" blog series. I've been asked why I've been doing this and living in the past. It hasn't been about that for me. Ever since I moved here when I was a young 23 year old, I have had a hard time saying goodbye to my past. I've had a difficult time stepping away from my past life and starting over. I figured I'd just grow out of it when I turned 25. Well that didn't happen. The problem I realized is that I never talked about it fully, addressed things fully. Sure I've ranted and raved over the years but I never actually put my feelings out there about people, situations and even tied up all the loose ends of my life. I decided late last year that my turning point would be when I turn 30. I would finally tie up the loose ends, say goodbye to my old issues and move on with my life.

In doing that I've found out a few things about myself.

1. Some people are just not going to like me. And I'm finally okay with that. I don't need the world to like me to live. I'm a-okay with a few people liking me.
2. Respect is not given at all, it's truly earned. This has come to light with all the changes are work (more on that later). I've spent alot of my life trying to get people to like, when all I want is respect from the people I associate myself with and work with. You don't have to like me, but after a long time I expect that I've earned your respect.
3. I've taken alot of pictures and videos over the years. Then again that's something EVERYONE knows.

But today it's simple. I'm actually a little emontional.

I know it's corny, trust me.

For years I would be like "I'm terrified to get to 30". Now I don't know why I was so worried. I'm going to be 30 and honestly I have EVERYTHING I've ever wanted.

My life is good. There's always the goals of stuff to do before I turn 30. Who knew I would achieve all the big ones.

Marriage, two families, great friends pretty much all the way to the eastern seaboard, have held a job in one way shape or form for close to ten years. I'm even starting a new employment adventure soon. The fact is what do I have to complain about???

So tomorrow I plan on celebrating. All day, in every way shape or form. Lots of pictures will be taken. It's almost like a new life will begin tomorrow.

Thank you to everyone who has guided me and been by my side. I wouldn't be who I am without you. Life is good. It's only going to get better.

Change is Good

Well today everything changed. I left work today. The ramp room was being changed over. We were trying to figure out as a team how to work out all these changes in the flight schedule. Well I left early today to goto a job interview.

After a drive downtown nervous as hell, I got in there and got offered a position in South Milwaukee with Securitas Security Services USA, Inc. Full time work. Workable hours on the day shift. Orentation next Tuesday morning and start training on May 1st.

So soon I will no longer be a Frontier Airlines employee.

This was unexpected turn of events and a shocking conclusion to a wild six plus year ride.

Over the next two weeks I will be tying up all my loose ends and will be able to process everything.

Saying goodbye won't be easy, but hey I guess it's finally my turn to move on.

The Road to 30: The Evolution of Friendship

So I was trying to find a way to show my friends, especially the long time ones, how much they mean to me. So I remembered a photo album I kept on MySpace called "The Evolution of Friendship" and as you go through it you can see how we all grew up and who came in and out of our lives. In trying to figure out how to convey that story I kept hearing a song called Remember The Magic by Brian McKnight in my head. It's a song that I could have sworn I used for a video years ago, but alas I did not so now almost 16 years after hearing the song for the first time, I finally used it. Enjoy: