Notes from a Night Out

5/28

 Finally able to put all the pieces together from the guys night out the other night. I was way too tired yesterday to write anything down. So before my short term memory starts messing me up, let me at write down a few notes.

Air Hockey: Reilly vs. Fellows...7-4, 3-7, 5-7

Karaoke performances:

All Star
How Do You Like Me Now
Life is A Highway
Voices

If I Had A Million Dollars
Men in Black
It's All Been Done

Bohemian Rhapsody

The Playoff Hangover

5/22

Boy these playoffs are starting to kick my ass!

I figured when I got a job that started later in the morning and I could get a little more sleep, I would get rid of this tired feeling.

I'm convinced I'm starting to have playoff game hangovers.

Games start at 7ish my time and usually, by the time I get through post game it's after 10. This doesn't seem so bad to the average person, and back in the old days it didn't seem that bad, especially in Eastern time.

But that was nine years ago. It was a completely different time. I was younger. Now 16 games into their run I'm realizing, as a fan I'm exhausted.

As most people who know me know (and if you don't have you been living under a rock?) I get very emotional invested in my teams. I know SHOCKER! It comes with being a sports fan. But what fans around here don't get, it's easiest to survive a championship in football than any other sport. I mean let's be honest, the Packers & Giants runs were both impressive but both teams played four games to win their respective Super Bowls, lasted a month and there was plenty of time to breather in between. Baseball fans (for the Mets, Brewers and Cubs fans, not Yanks and White Sox) don't even know what a real championship run is like. As for basketball, I'm convinced that it is the only sport of the big four that people are more mega fans of the players than the teams themselves. Just my view from the outside, as I am not a basketball fan. But the way the NHL formats the playoffs, it's very non stop. The longest break between games is two days.

Back when the Devils were red between between 94 and 03, it was a wild ride. Games would go late, some nights very little sleep was had. I mean if anyone remembers Game 5 & 6 of the 2000 Finals alone, it was insane. In those days I was emotional invested, but at the time, other than the 2000 Finals that ended up during finals week, it didn't really affect much. At the time sleep was overrated. I mean there times during a couple of those runs I would actually go out AFTER games.

Now jump nine years later. It's the middle of my third Devs/Rangers playoff series. Life has caught up to me. Every game night consits of making sure stuff is ready for work the next day, family dinners and CJ's bedtime. By the time eveything is done, CJ is in bed and even Mandy is asleep, it's the third period and I'm exhausted. The game ends and I head upstairs to watch post game, tweet a bit and update facebook. By the time it's all over, I hit the sack and honestly even if it's not THAT late, mentaly it is. Then I get up and I'm still exhausted and now here I sit at work looking like I haven't slept, trying to be professional. That my friends is the playoff hangover.

When you find yourself saying to yourself, I think bedtime is going to be between 9 & 9:30 because it's a non game night. When a series gets you so emotionally invested that you're just not mentally there the next morning.

This has been me in this series.

Questions from My Mind

5/21

Have you ever seen the "Civil War" episode of Boy Meets World season seven?

For those who haven't, I suggest it. It's a big two part episode at the end of the series.

It brought alot of things to mind. How close are we all to getting to the point of no return?

How many times can someone treat you like shit before you finally move on?

How many times can you forgive and forget?

How many times can someone hurt you before you've had enough?

How long before you finally snap?

How long can you handle an one sided friendship or relationship?

How many times can you hear the phrase "I've changed" or "I've missed you so much"?

Before I continue, I'm not perfect. I've never claimed to be. I've done alot of things and said alot of things that even I'm shocked certain people have stayed in my life.

There have been many in my past that have walked away, an in about 95% of cases I look back and don't blame em.

But for me personally I've had a long line. This may come from having a different mentality about friendships and even relationship in general.

I've always believed that no matter how bad things get, how ugly a situation, how much you've hurt each other in the past, if you work hard enough you can repair any relationships, and in some cases, my marriage included, make it stronger.

Maybe it's naive, or maybe it comes from a time period in my life when I thought I had nothing but some fare-weather friends and a bunch of people who love to get drunk. If there is something I did take out of that time period was the meaning of a true friendship.

For me I look at a true friend as not only are there for the good or bad times but for those times in between. You know those days when you need to vent, days you just want to go out for a drink, walk through the mall or even answer message they are extremely busy/stressed themselves, just so you get off the ledge.

That being said, back to my point, my time is line is long when putting up with being ignored, cancelled on ore even just feeling like it's a chore to to just talk.

This is viewed by many as a fault, maybe it is. But it also comes from my optimistic and positive attitude I have.

It also comes from experience. It comes from getting a fb message from a friend who you wrote off for two years and him apologizing for being a dick when was fucked up. It comes from everytime I get into a "friendship fight" with someone and then within six months we are hangin again like it never happened. It comes from everytime I've said "He'll be back one day" or "She'll get over it and call me again" and I was right.

With that kind of history I am willing to have that kind of long line.

But even then, can I really forgive everything?

Can I forgive being completely ignored for over two years?

Can I forgive someone who isn't even man enough to pick up a phone and tell me with his own voice have he truly feels?

Is it worth it anymore no matter how well or how long I've known those people?

Back On the Radar

5/16

As alot of people during my long partime break Mandy bought me Boy Meets World, seasons 5-7. Not only did this complete this series in our collection, it also gave me the ability to watch the college years, which even as a huge fan, I didn't watch that closely. The humor got mature and I just wasn't ready for it. Now I appreciate it.

Coupled with Glee as of late, my mind has been in overdrive.

For those who haven't noticed, I've been pretty quiet lately, except hockey talk, especially since my birthday. Yes I've been trying to make plans with people, and I talk to people who want to talk to me, but honestly I've been off radar.

This mainly started after I left the airport. Leaving was pretty hard on me. I wrote that blog saying goodbye, and all things considered, especially how things have gone since I left, I have no regrets. But after six years it was still weird.

Plus then I gave myself a week vacation, and then went into training right away. Right as that started, the Devils got red hot, all while the weather got alot nicer. So my life has become very adult again all of a sudden.

I guess this is the shot in the ass I needed to get back into gear.

Now to get back into the gym at least twice a week. That seems impossible right now but have to do something soon.

Otherwise for those wondering, especially after reading those random paragraphs that I have no way of tying together, I'm good.

I'm good, just busy and getting things in order so I can get into a new routine. It's taking alot longer than I expected.

Ramblings from My Notebook

With my new job, I have time to write again. It's nice I must admit. That being said I'm going to share some of what I write in here as I see fit. so when you see the notebook logo pop up there's where it's coming from. It may not make sense but when do ramblings make sense?

5/13/12

Ever sit on a delivery dock with one of your favorite movies on in the background and think about life?

What a silly question I know.

That's me today.

How did i get here??
How did I end up sitting on a delivery dock on a Sunday as a security officer of an empty warehouse facility?

Two weeks ago, I was an airport employee, depressed and struggling to even get out of bed in the morning.

Now I hang out as a security officer daily. 40 hours in uniform.

I've been asked do I like it?
How's work?
Honestly I'm still in an adjustment period.