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Attitude Adjustment

I have to admit I hate change. Any kind of change throws me of. Over the last month that's all I've been dealing with. Just when things were finally going amazing well, then came the furlough.

Most people know what's going on, so I won't go into that, but we went from 101 people on a full time alone,to 98 people total in Janurary (F & P). With all that going on, I had to make a decision. Either leave, go nights, or go part time days. Leaving was a huge possiblity but honestly that wasn't going to happen. So the decision was made, mainly because I wanted to make sure that I had time with CJ, going part time days would be the best decision. With that, I took a part time line, now I filed for partial unemployment. So things are good right?

Well yes and no. With that decision, and other decisions made by other people, alot of the co workers that I'm close with either leave via the furlough, servence, retired or are working a shift where I'm never going to see them. So with all that I got into a massive depressive state. That depressive state hit hard after the furlough party at Landmark last Saturday and culminated in the "you rock" on Saturday. To be honest for a second, it's taking me alot longer than I expected to adjust to my new early morning schedule. (even though I do LOVE being home on the weekends completely)

With all things considered I should be happy and in a good mood. More free time, able to get stuff done. Life should be good. Then why am I so out of it?

Why am I eating so much and actually gaining the weight back that I spent all summer burning off?

Why is everything getting to me? Every little thing everyone does is bothering me.

Things don't make any sense to me.

I need to take this long weekend (I'm still working tomorrow and Friday morning, but overall I get four days with the family) and enjoy the nice weather and get my head on straight. There is no need for me to explode for no reason. There is no reason for me to act the way I'm acting.

I need get back in the gym on Tuesday morning. No more excuses.

I need to just relax. Be productive but also realx. Enjoy this turn of events instead of dwelling on everything bad that has happened over the last month.

*deep breath*

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Changes on the Ship

I'll be honest it's been a while since I updated this thing. There HAS been alot to talk about. Problem as always is lack of time. When I can't blog at work anymore and we're always so busy at home, updating has been put on the backburner, for obvious reasons. That being said, with my part time work schedule and more free time, I will try my best to actually keep up with this thing.

It's the beginning of a weird week at work. I'm not going to go down the sentimental route, at least not in this entry. I'll save that for another time. But it's funny, people wonder why alot of us are taking this so hard. I've heard "at least you still have a job", "it's just a job".

Well back in 2005 when I took this job, with Skyway/Midwest at the time, I just looked at it as a place for me to work to get through school. That's what it did too.

Since that time, I've gotten married, had a kid, got a associates degree, made some of the best friends in the world and made a home for myself.

Back in 08, just after CJ was born there was a furlough. Due to the fact that CJ was just born I was in my own world. Things didn't really hit me hard, my head wasn't even in work mode for most of that time. It was almost like filler time between time with my family.

Now in 2011, it's different. This is a drastic change. People are leaving, almost like jumping off a sinking ship, retiring, moving to nights. All the people who I got close with, I won't see nearly as much as I'm used to. It's been rough.

In all honesty though, I'm looking forward to my personal change.

After much thought, back and forth, I decided to stay on the ship, go part time, stay on days and hope for the best. I'm looking forward to being a shorter schedule going into the winter months. Being able to have the rest of the day to goto the gym, keep up with the cleaning around the house and actually having the weekends to spend with my family.

The truth is, I was seriously thinking of jumping ship. But right now I still love going to work. I still like what I do. Do I have less to do then ever before? Yes. Are things ever going to be the same as they were even a year ago? No. But with every negative comes a positive, and that's how I have to look at it.